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Side-Stepping Approach Anxiety

The Fear Within

There's nothing on the wing!

You’re sitting at a coffee shop chillin’ out drinking a latte, when who should walk in the door but the bangin’est redhead you’ve ever laid eyes on. She’s got an ass like Halle Berry, dimples, and her eyes are shining like a two puddles of moonlight.

“God damn!” you say to yourself, “that chick is fine as hell, I really ought to go over there and say something to her.” But you’re unable to move, you’re literally frozen in place, riddled with, you guessed it… Approach anxiety!

Believe me, I know the feeling well. During my “post-divorce/totally lacking mojo” phase I couldn’t bring myself to approach even a slightly attractive girl, let alone the types of women I REALLY wanted to be dating. And when I did suck it up and try, I had EPIC failures.

So What Is a Guy To Do?

Well, there are a few schools of thought on this topic, and they all have their valid points, so let’s take a look at our options, shall we?

FIRST – We can work through the fear. You probably heard the now common advice that in order to overcome approach anxiety you need to approach 1000 girls, and honestly this is a viable technique that can really work out well for you. But, in order for this to work we have to assume that:

A) There is no glaring flaw in your approach/presentation that is going to stop you from having any success what so ever.

B) That you actually have it in you to follow through and approach 100 women let alone 1000.

From my experience, most guys who suffer from approach anxiety are just not going to go through with this option, they may try, but most will get rejected a couple times and then throw in the towel.

SECOND – We can do some confidence boosting/self improvement exercises first. Again, this is a good strategy. There is a ton of information on the internet and even on this website that can help you improve your “inner-game,” and when you are feeling good about yourself, you’ll find that approaching women is a hell of a lot easier. The only problem with this one is that it can take time, and although there is a ton of great info out there, you may have difficulty applying effectively.

THIRD – Side step approach anxiety and hook up with chicks through the internet. This is one of the truly beautiful things about online dating… There is no “approaching” involved! You can sit home safe as bug in a rug, crank out some emails, and line up dates one after the other. This is the technique that really helped me overcome my approach anxiety the most. Talk about a confidence booster!

Picture this, how easy would it be to talk to that hottie in the coffeeshop if you had stayed up the whole night before rolling around in the sack with another girl who was equally as attractive? Total piece of cake!

So this is why I recommend online dating so strongly to guys who have been in a slump. It’s an easy way to jump start that mojo of yours.

I like helping guys tear it up online so much that I became a dating coach, and I wrote a book that explains my methods for online dating success, you can check?it out here!

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About Jake Vandenhoff Jake Vandenhoff is a dating coach and author specializing in self-development and online dating. He offers an array of programs to help guys succeed with women naturally, without relying on outdated PUA tactics. His Online Dating Playbook offers step-by-step instructions for meeting girls online, and connecting with them authentically. Visit to claim a free copy of Jake's Online Dating Secrets eCourse.

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