Two Steps To Ending Your Dryspell With Women
The majority of the guys who come to me for coaching are in the midst of a some sort of dryspell. For most of them it’s been a couple months since they’ve been with a woman, but for others it’s been years or even decades. I’ve also had the chance to work with clients who have never been with a woman in their entire lives. Talk about a long ass dry spell!
So, I think it’s important to realize the fact that this is something that happens to literally EVERYBODY to some degree, at some point in their lives. I know when you are going through a dryspell it seems like you are all alone and everybody else is out there just bangin’ tons of hot chicks, but that’s just not the case. Dryspells are a universal malady.
Now that we’ve established the fact that dryspells suck and everyone suffers to some extent, on to the important part: How do you break your dryspell?
Here are the two steps:
I know that this problem seems as simple as the fact that you aren’t getting laid, but really, this is just a symptom. This symptom is created by a root cause or multiple root causes which are the real obstacles getting in the way of you hooking up with the ladies. Now I’m not gonna kid you here … recognizing root causes isn’t always easy, or fun. But, in the long run it’s one of the best thing you can do for yourself.
It can be helpful, in figuring out the root cause of your dryspell, to bust out with a pencil and a notepad and start looking at your situation systematically … like you are an accountant or something trying to figure out why your company isn’t turning a profit.
Weigh all the factors such as:
– Are you getting out of the house enough to places where you can meet women?
– If so, when you are out and about are you actively starting conversations with women?
– Are you presenting yourself the right way in terms of your style, clothes etc?
– Are your physique and grooming up to par?
– Are you able to flirt with the women you talk to and spark attraction?
– Are you able to keep her interested long enough to start forming a bond?
– Are you able to procure contact information?
– Is your “phone-game” working, i.e. are you able to turn those phone numbers into dates?
– Do you have a tight game plan for first dates?
– Are you able to keep amping up the attraction and flirting physically, etc.?
Yeah, there are a lot of factors and it’s easy to get overwhelmed, but if you can get yourself to look at this scientifically and evaluate these individual components, that’s what’s going to show you where you are missing the boat. For a breakdown of everything you need to do to attract women and get them in bed you can refer to my Online Dating Playbook.
Once you have found a possible root cause for your dryspell, the next step is taking action to obliterate that root cause. Now the obliteration process is different depending on what the problem is, and since we can’t cover all of them here, let’s say your problem is that that you aren’t getting out of the house enough.
So, write that down, “my problem is that I don’t get out of the house enough to meet women” and thumbtack it to your bedroom wall (just be sure to take it down before you have company, LOL). The reason is that you’ve got to stay aware of what the problem is. That way, next time you are sitting in your room thinking about calling it a night you can look up at that sign and remember the reason that you are going to bed alone again.
Next, you’ve got to brainstorm some ideas of how you can get out more and meet more women. If you already have a group of friends you hangout with a lot, the answer could be as easy as going to more hot “chick friendly” places with your friends. Like instead of going to a sports bar, go to a club or wherever the type of girls you want to date go. Simple right?
If you don’t have any friends, think about places that you could go out to alone to meet women. Think of some old friends you could call up and go out with, or some people at work or school that you could make plans to hang out with. Once you start looking for solutions, you’ll find that there are a lot of new and different things that you can do to get out of the house, switch things, up and meet some chicks!
Also, depending on what the cause of your dryspell is you can consult with friends who seem to have a handle on whatever it is you are dealing with. If for instance, if you determine that your style is kinda lame, then pick out a friend whose style you like and talk about gear with him, go on the internet and read some recent fashion articles etc.
In other cases, there might be a good ebook you could download on the subject or a professional you could speak with for a nominal fee. Yeah, these things may seem like a pain in the ass and cost you a few bucks, but seriously, let’s keep the pay off in mind here!
The thing about dryspells is that they happen for a reason. And unless you are able to do a little introspection and put in some effort to correct the root problems, dryspells are going to keep plaguing you over and over again over the course of your life.
If you’re looking to end your dryspell as quickly and painlessly as possibly check out my Online Dating Playbook.
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Jake Vandenhoff Jake Vandenhoff is a dating coach and author specializing in self-development and online dating. He offers an array of programs to help guys succeed with women naturally, without relying on outdated PUA tactics. His Online Dating Playbook offers step-by-step instructions for meeting girls online, and connecting with them authentically. Visit www.jakevandenhoff.com to claim a free copy of Jake's Online Dating Secrets eCourse.