How To Speed Things Up With A Woman
Most of the guys I coach are in the habit of proceeding far too slowly with women. Not only do they move at a snails pace with girls they’re already dating, but also with women they’ve just met.
Every step of the way they’re taking things slowly and cautiously. Wanna guess what happens? The women lose interest! They stop taking the guy’s calls, or they flake on him, or if he finally tries to speed things up he gets a one way ticket to the friends zone…
Now I’ve had made a lot of mistakes with women over my lifetime, which I frequently talk/laugh about, but for some reason, “going slow” has never really been a major problem of mine. The reason I think is that I’m just basically an eager bastard. In fact for me, the problem was more often an over eagerness.
That being said, I really enjoy helping guys get off there rumps and start speeding things up with the women they are interested in. I find that one of the biggest hurdles is realizing that women actually WANT you to move things forward at a healthy pace. Taking your time bumbling about is boring for her, and in our ADHD culture that shit just doesn’t cut the mustard!
So, here are a few simple ways that you can get things rolling a little faster:
Or the one second rule, or whatever you want to call it. The point is that when you see a woman you are interested in you’ve got to go for it and get the gears turning. Now this does NOT mean you need to run over and start gaming her hard, but you do need to engage her in one way or another as soon as possible even if this just means giving her a quick eye hump.
This one is tough for a lot of guys. Practically anyone can chat about mundane topics with an attractive woman, but teasing her and ratcheting up the sexual tension can be intimidating. This is one of the most important areas for guys to work on because a lack of escalation in this area is a sure way to get friend zoned.
Most times a guy will wait way too long to ask a woman. I’m coaching a guy right now who has been waiting to ask out a coworker for like two years! The reason guys do this is out of FEAR that she’ll say no. The lesson is that asking early will never really messes things up. Either she likes you or she doesn’t, if you’ve talked to her for five minutes your probably good.
Physical contact should begin before the first date, unless you meet online. But in any case a lack of physical touch in the first hour or so of a date will often lead to the date ending with a platonic type of a hug. If you are going on dates and not getting physical you need to retrain your brain.
A good place to start is with my First Date Debauchery PDF. Grab it now FREE for a limited time.
About Jake Vandenhoff Jake Vandenhoff is a dating coach and author specializing in self-development and online dating. He offers an array of programs to help guys succeed with women naturally, without relying on outdated PUA tactics. His Online Dating Playbook offers step-by-step instructions for meeting girls online, and connecting with them authentically. Visit www.jakevandenhoff.com to claim a free copy of Jake's Online Dating Secrets eCourse.