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Expanding Your Beer Palate – Lagers

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To continue on the theme from the pilsner essay, I think I know why I think of Bud and Bud Light when I hear the word “lager.” It’s because of Anheuser Busch’s advertisements. Delving deeper into the subject of beers and drinking many different kinds makes me realize that those beers are good lagers like a blow job from a man is as good as a blow job from a woman (if you are straight.) Sure, it gets you to the same place, and some crazy logic and your eyes closed may even make you believe it can be the same thing, but in the morning your head tells you that you made a big mistake. (Reverse the argument if you are gay.)

Hey! ... Beer!

So, let’s look at some good winning lagers and make sure that no one ever tricks us with the logic that Bud is really the same thing. Though, if you look really close, the “winners” in the American-style lager and American-style specialty lagers are some of those familiar names from college parties like Miller Lite, Old Milwaukee, Hamm’s and Old Style. Like you, I’ll pretend those don’t exist unless I get really drunk by the end of the essay and there’s nothing left in the fridge.

Longboard Lager

Longboard Island Lager from Kona Brewing Co. on the Big Island won the silver in the Munich-style Helles category, pairs well with Greek pizza according to the website and can be found in many places across the U.S. (Use the finder if you don’t believe me – I have 16 places within easy walking distance from me.)

Hot Rocks Lager

It looks like from the website that the name of Hot Rocks Lager from Port Brewing Company in San Marcos, California has a very literal meaning. Brewers use hot granite rocks when making the beer. I can see why it placed third in the “Out of Category” category, as I don’t think I’ve heard of placing glowing hot rocks in a beer before. Maybe there’s a label that can tell you when your beer has glowing hot rocks in it.

Chuckanut Vienna Lager

The gold medal winning Chuckanut Vienna Lager can be found on tap at the Chuckanut Brewery and Kitchen in Bellingham, Washington, if you ever find yourself between Seattle and Vancouver. It goes well with smoked salmon and crab cakes, which makes it great for the Pacific Northwest, and unfortunate that it isn’t available outside of Washington State for seafood fans on the east coast.

Heavy Seas Marzen

However, for those on the east coast, there is the bronze winning Heavy Seas Marzen from the Clipper City Brewing Company in Baltimore. The pairings suggest sausage or pizza (I say, sausage pizza!) so it may not be a perfect substitute, but then again it’s good that road kill opossum is not a pairing. Brewery tours look to be available on Saturdays and if you purchase a souvenir pint glass for $5, you can sample their beers.

Schell’s Oktoberfest

Lastly, as Oktoberfest is about to hit full swing, there’s the silver medal winning Schell’s Oktoberfest from the August Schell Brewing Company of New Ulm, Minnesota. Mostly available in the upper Midwest, you will have at least a couple of months to enjoy this seasonal gem.

About Jason McClain

Jason is an aspiring novelist, which means there is a lot of time to put off writing and watch baseball or go fly-fishing, hiking and traveling. By “a lot of time”, Jason means “procrastination.”

Simple Trick Tells You if a Girl Wants You to Kiss Her

Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?

Let's face it.  Girl's don't make it easy for you.  She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty.  If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.

Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.

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