Bro Down With Confident People
I have this friend. We might have been separated at birth. We both love playing guitar, quoting “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” eating cheeseburgers and being sarcastic jerks. By the power of Facebook, he and I reconnected and decided to get together recently. He’s still a lot like me in many ways (and can even quote the entirety of “The Breakfast Club” now).
When it comes to general outlook on life and self-confidence, however, he seems to be where I was several years ago, putting myself down, not realizing my full potential. While it was good seeing him in a “remember the time we stole lawn gnomes” nostalgic sort of way, it’s obvious our differing personalities have brought about a sea change in our relationship. To be honest, it might not be the worst thing that we’ve drifted apart.
After spending a few hours with this old friend, I started slipping back into the state of mind I’d been living in for years, one characterized by a poor self-image and a general feeling of being an outsider, less than, and anything but a go-getter. Self-loathing and defeatist remarks I might have once chuckled at sounded like the whining of a victim, the cries of someone who found it easier to pick on the successful guy for being cliché, cookie cutter, etc., than take charge of his own life.
Who would you rather spend time with: the confident guy who lives each day to his fullest or the angry guy who only gets by picking apart the flaws of those he sees as “above” him? I’d honestly rather hang out with the former, as associating with successful people can have a positive effect on your own pursuit of goals and self-image.
Who you choose to spend time with not only reflects your own ideals, but can have an impact on your overall outlook on life. For example, if I spend my time with guys who crap days away playing Xbox and sniffing glue, putting down “the man,” do you think I’ll be inspired to do something like start my own company or run a marathon? It’s doubtful. Now, if I hang out with people with a can-do, attitude geared toward success, might I have loftier goals? It seems much more likely. While hanging out with a certain crowd won’t necessarily guarantee loser or winner status – it all comes down to you in the end – it without a doubt has an effect on what you want out of life and whether you think you can achieve your goals.
I’m not suggesting you weed out your friends and start hanging out with the Future CEO’s of America. It might be beneficial, however, to seek out relationships with people with similar values, those with positive, can-do attitudes, if you want to succeed and maintain a positive self-image. You can learn from these people, as well. Want to get in shape? Hang out with guys with good workout regimens. Need help with a business plan? Make friends with other successful businesspeople. It’s not just networking. It’s about surrounding yourself with positive people and existing in a world where you too feel like you can accomplish goals.
Seek out positive relationships. If you’ve got a buddy who puts George Costanza’s self-loathing to shame, why not help steer him in the right direction? Whatever you do,set yourself up for success by hanging out with other can-do people. Even Kramer would be an improvement.
About John Brhel John Brhel is a freelance writer from upstate New York that enjoys picking apart life's idiosyncrasies and listening to Huey Lewis & the News.