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Be the Bruce Lee of Game


“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” – Bruce Lee

As an avid action movie fanatic and lifelong martial artist, the legendary Bruce Lee has always been an inspiration to me. Initially I was captivated by his high flying kicks and nunchuka skills, but after delving deeper into his myriad of interviews and written works, I’ve found that Lee’s philosophies go beyond just fighting.

Many people think Lee was just a kung fu master, but in reality, he studied many different styles, integrating techniques that worked for him and aided in his quest to become as efficient of a martial artist as possible.

Be like Bruce

Lee’s philosophy of Jeet Kune Do, often referred to as a style without style, has the practitioner abandon the old mindset of sticking to just one discipline and having them open their minds to, as Lee put it, “Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own.”

The principles set out by Lee focus on a constant evolution of one’s skills, a mindset that anyone looking to get better at game should adopt.

“Obey the Principles without Being Bound by Them”

When the PUA community started to explode in the early 2000s, the Mystery Method and systems similar to it reigned supreme.  Going out to clubs wearing outlandish accessories, saying ridiculous openers and using bizarre jargon to break down interactions became the telltale signs of the pick-up artist.

As time went on, many different styles of game branched out as followers of the old methods became tired of these cold and calculated approaches.  It is safe to say that, today, a less scripted method of pick-up is taking over as the popular mindset as current students of self-development focus more on making their game “natural”.

If Bruce Lee dabbled in PUA, he’d say that both styles are flawed, yet, have an immense amount of useful information to take in.

Critics of the old school PUA tactics say using scripted lines and a step-by-step system are useless and don’t work which, to a degree, is correct, as incongruent and unnatural behavior will kill approaches.  However, having rehearsed lines and break downs of situations can be a real benefit as they provide not only a safety net but also serve as a map for newbies to navigate these unfamiliar social situations.

Knowing what negs are, being able to tell when a girl is interested and knowing how to calibrate the vibe when dealing with certain sets are some invaluable skills that few guys would know how to do naturally.

Using Lee’s philosophy, these skills can be integrated with the current overarching “natural” mindset.  Those who study pick-up do not need to choose one style of game over another but should find what techniques and tactics work for them.

There is no need to follow each step of a certain method, but there is no reason why a man can’t use various lessons they learned in conjunction with other styles and a natural mindset.  With new methods and gurus putting out e-books every day, find what techniques work for you and cultivate your own unique and successful sense of game.

“To Hell with Circumstances; I Create Opportunities”

Bruce Lee had the uncanny ability to break down his opponents’ weaknesses in order to find the best manner of attack.  He did not fly into the fray with a flurry nor did he sit back and wait for his opponents to hit him.

Lee knew how to create the best opportunity to attack, not letting any arbitrary disadvantages dissuade him from victory.

As any dating instructor will tell you, there is no such thing as a perfect moment.  A woman is not going to tell you to approach her or go in for the kiss.  These opportunities are created.

Just because it seems like an approach may be too difficult because she’s in a mixed set or the music is too loud doesn’t mean that you can’t spark attraction.  You need the self-confidence in order to ignore these hindrances and create that “perfect” moment yourself.

Having faith in your abilities is half the battle with the execution just the physical manifestation of the expression of oneself.  Like I said in my last piece, diving straight in and talking to women regardless of the circumstances is key.  As Lee said, “If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.”

If you truly want to get better at picking up women, then you have to forget about waiting for the right moments and should instead live in the present, creating your own opportunities regardless of the situation.

Constantly evolving, remaining true to yourself and having faith in your own abilities are invaluable lessons from Lee that anyone can use.

About Matt Juul

Matt Juul is loving college life as he pursues a career in journalism and cinema. A freelance writer, his interests and expertise range from personal development and dating to fitness and the martial arts. Currently based out of Boston, Matt spends his free time training in MMA, as he hopes to get in the cage soon!

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  1. G

    December 7, 2011 at 1:46 pm

    Thanks for confirming what I thought from the beginning. Create your own style. You are you so you got your own style, method. Take what works, discard what doesn’t.
    Peace out!

    • Matt Juul

      December 7, 2011 at 9:43 pm

      Thanks for the comment and yes, whether it is martial arts, pick-up, music, whatever, be creative, be yourself. Doing so is so much more rewarding than copying others.

  2. gay

    December 10, 2011 at 10:02 am

    *ahem* incessant idealism

  3. Bruno Babic - PickUpFlow

    April 26, 2014 at 10:05 pm

    Hey Matt, what an awesome article on relating Bruce Lee’s wisdom to the pickup game! I was absolutely immersed in reading it not only because I’m a huge Bruce Lee fan like you but also because I’ve experienced my first greatest epiphanies, observations and light bulb moments in my game all thanks to Bruce Lee’s inspirational words of wisdom.

    I can say that the following two Bruce Lee quotes helped totally transform my view on attracting and picking up women:

    1) “Empty your mind.” (NOTE: This is actually only the ending part of Bruce Lee’s quote that starts with “Be like water…”)

    2) “The art of fighting without fighting” (NOTE: This was Bruce Lee’s reply to the bad character in the movie ‘Enter the Dragon’ where Bruce Lee quoted as his favorite martial arts style)

    I came to benefit from the former Bruce Lee’s quote immediately after I hit a painful rock-bottom in my game. My head turned into a chaos full of overwhelming seduction related information on different pickup artists’ openers, routines and strategies. I fell victim to the bad habit of robotically approaching women just for the sake of making as many approaches a day as possible. Furthermore I ended up forcing myself into approaching random women in awkward seeming and high anxiety inducing situations all with the intention to kind of overcome my insecurities and fears around meeting women or I’d better say, with the intention to make up for the lack of meeting enough number of women in my life. In other words, by doing so, I was just pleasing my ego or as a seduction artist would say, I was overcompensating my insecurity or was acting on my insecurity. As a result, my approach anxiety reached a ridiculously high level like never before and my daily errands almost seemed to look to me like a sea full of sharks where the sharks were random women all around me that I was feeling forced to approach like a programmed robot.

    Since I was losing myself more and more all because of this dreadful chaotic mess in my head, I soon realized that the main cause of this state of my mind was putting all the unnecessary pressure on myself in terms of constantly feeling forced to make such and such number of approaches a day in some awkward seeming situations like meeting women on my daily 5 minute short tram trips to my parents’ place for lunch, for example. Needless to say that my approaches sounded and looked awkward and that neither women nor I enjoyed them.

    As a result, I soon came to the realization that the only solution was to totally get rid of even the slightest bits of my thoughts of having to deliberately approach and pick up women. This is how I decided to use Bruce Lee’s “Empty your mind” quote in order to completely empty my mind from all these thoughts and pressures that were driving me insane.

    Once I emptied my mind and started to feel totally relieved, relaxed and calm, Bruce Lee’s “the art of fighting without fighting” quote helped me experience another great light bulb moment where I clearly realized that to be able to successfully pick up a woman, I should completely give up all my intention to pick her up. In other words, I realized that my main problem was that I ended up overtly chasing women instead of making women chase me. This is how I got to relate Bruce Lee’s “the art of fighting without fighting” to my newly discovered “the art of picking up women without picking them up.”

    Next I spontaneously remembered the words of the successful entrepreneur, Brian Tracy, who once said that it’s scientifically researched and discovered that there’s often only one weakest skill that we should improve in order to achieve our ultimate goal. This is how I ended up asking myself: “What’s my weakest skill that I should get good at in order to be able to effortlessly sexually attract women and make them chase me?” My answer was the lack of sexual confidence that’s the confidence in freely expressing my real sexual feelings and desires towards the women that I’m sexually attracted to.

    Guess what. Once I decided to go out only with the intention to boost up my sexual confidence while being under no pressure to approach and pick up any woman, I got to enjoy my first ever experience of being able to effortlessly and naturally attract a very hot young girl and make her chase me.

    The whole point of sharing this experience with you is to show you how the above mentioned Bruce Lee’s words of wisdom helped me regain my focus on improving only the things that mattered to my success.

    On that note, what I soon realized was that as the result of my newly gained focus I actually experienced Bruce Lee’s “obey the principles without being bound by them” quote in action, so to say, because when later analyzing the combo of my mindset and my flirting body language that led me to success, I realized that I was actually in a flow state where I was able to subconsciously make the right moves at the right time during the interaction with that girl.

    Finally, on top of all of my above mentioned realizations, light bulb moments and experience that were all initially inspired by Bruce Lee’s words of wisdom, I learned that I was able to enter and fully enjoy that amazing flow state because I was taking the 6 key steps that are the prerequisite to experiencing such flow state in the context of being able to effortlessly and naturally attract women:

    STEP 1: First, I was focused on following my top passion that was all about succeeding in effortlessly and masterfully attracting and picking up women. I learned that being in a flow is almost like playing your favorite video game where you absolutely love and enjoy playing every single bit of it because your true passion for playing it always drives you to get to the highest level of the game. This is exactly how I felt that day when I got to the level of being able to effortlessly attract a hot woman and make her chase me.

    STEP 2: I was under no pressure of having to approach or pick up any woman. I realized that this helped me not only to fully focus on the moment of meeting a woman, but also to unleash my best in an interaction with her all thanks to a totally calm, relaxed and self-amused state of my mind. I learned that once you get into such state of mind, you’re able to naturally pull up the right things to say and the right moves to make at the right time during an interaction because no external and no internal distractions like your worries, anxieties or fears are holding you back from doing so. You’re fully immersed into doing something that you truly enjoy and love.

    STEP 3: Address and fix your biggest challenges that are holding you back from living your top passion.

    STEP 4: Find and learn the skill that you need to overcome your biggest challenges.

    STEP 5: Set yourself a small doable task while using the right skill for the right challenge in a way that will allow you to get an immediate feedback as your reward for doing that task. This is very important because being rewarded will not only make you very excited and happy but also it’ll motivate you to improve your game until you totally master it.

    STEP 6: Repeat the cycle of the previous steps by identifying your new challenges and using the right skills that’ll help you overcome these challenges.

    The above six steps make up what I like to call the flow psychology of attraction that’s, in my opinion reinforced with my research and experience, the prerequisite to unlocking your full potential or unleashing your best self in the area of dating women.

    Hope my comment was helpful and insightful enough to inspire you to use Bruce Lee’s words of wisdom for improving your own game.

    Bruno Babic

    P.S. If you want to make women chase you, you should pick up your own flow of effortlessly attracting them all based on just being your true self and expressing your real sexual feelings through both your body language and the words you say.

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