Call The Whaaambulence!
Today’s article is in response to some comments I received on my last post. These comments highlight a serious problem that I have yet to address…
The problem: Being a complainer who’s full of excuses!
If there’s one sure way NOT to succeed with women, this is it. In fact the “whiner” mentality is a powerful girl repellent, one whiff and girls will be climbing over each other to get away from you.
It reminds me of a customer at a restaurant where I used to work who the staff nicknamed “the whiner.” He was this older effeminate dude who would come in to the bar for a few drinks every afternoon. Now The Whiner wasn’t a bad guy, but he was extremely miserable, and no fun to be around.
Every day like clockwork he would hobble in at around 3pm plop himself down at the bar and start sighing, whining, and complaining about everything from his bitchy supervisor, to the weather, to politics, etc. At first, I tried to humor him. I figured if I listened to him bitch, maybe he’d throw me an extra 10 spot. And after all things at the bar usually got pretty slow at 3 in the afternoon. So I would stand there, empathetically nodding and keeping his glass of pinot grigio full.
However, after a few weeks of his pissing and moaning I simply couldn’t take it anymore. Every time he opened his mouth I felt a sickening wave of nausea pass over me, and I’d have to excuse myself to do inventory or find some other reason to IGNORE him.
This is the same thing that happens to guys who have whoa-is-me attitudes about women and dating, they get ignored.
And it’s a shame, because just like my old pal “the whiner” these aren’t “bad” guys. They’re just guys who have yet to realize the correlation between mindset and success.
Everybody has a different excuse: “I’m too old”, “I’m too poor”, “I’m too skinny”, “I’m not good looking enough,” and on and on.
And when I point to all the poor, short, thin, older dudes who are STILL dating hot women regardless of these “perceived flaws”, guys just have more excuses for why they’ll never succeed. It’s the victim mindset, and it sucks.
Because logically, if being attractive to women was just a matter of having more money, or bigger muscles, why wouldn’t these guys just go to law school or take some creatine? I mean there are things that you can do to fix these “flaws” if you are so sure that they are holding you back. Heck if you are ugly, get your teeth fixed or get microdermabrasion.
But these guys will tell you that microdermabrasion costs too much and that they can’t go to law school to make more money because they already have student loans. Complainers ALWAYS have an answer! If they didn’t have an answer, they’d have to face the fact that they need to buckle down and get their inner shit handled.
About a year ago I got a long and involved email from a guy who was all disgruntled because he had read one of my newsletters where I talked about how easy online dating is. He informed me that he’d been online since 1997, and couldn’t get more then a couple dates because he was over 40 and under 5’8″.
Last month he contacted me to review his profile. It stunk. For 14 years this guy had been making excuses for his lack of success.
So if you want to complain, leave a comment below, or call the Whaaambulence.
If you want to make a change then figure out what you need to change and fix it. This new report should help: Download it here.
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About Jake Vandenhoff Jake Vandenhoff is a dating coach and author specializing in self-development and online dating. He offers an array of programs to help guys succeed with women naturally, without relying on outdated PUA tactics. His Online Dating Playbook offers step-by-step instructions for meeting girls online, and connecting with them authentically. Visit www.jakevandenhoff.com to claim a free copy of Jake's Online Dating Secrets eCourse.