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Awesome Men Throughout History: Lemmy

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Okay, look, it’s time you people and I had a serious talk. Not nearly enough of you know who Lemmy Kilmister is, and to call yourself a man without owning any Motorhead albums is distasteful at best and fraudulent at worst. It is imperative that we talk about Lemmy and how awesome he is, and you should make it a point to rent the 2010 documentary about him after reading this.

Lemmy!

A summary of Lemmy’s life is kind of pointless because a) he spent most of it on the road in various bands and recounting it all would be painfully tedious for everyone, and b) he’s still doing most of that stuff now, in his 60s. But to put his rock ‘n roll outlaw lifestyle into some context, he’s the bassist and founding member of Motorhead, who were responsible for the song “Ace of Spades,” which might be one of the best songs ever written. Most of their other songs sound just like it, but that’s okay because what I’m really saying is that they all sound just as good as “Ace of Spades.”

Before that, Lemmy was a roadie for Jimi Hendrix before joining a progressive/space-rock band called Hawkwind; he got kicked out for doing too many drugs, which was no small feat in the 1970s. Ask your parents about them – if they smoked pot in college, chances are they’ve heard some Hawkwind.

So we’ve already got two reasons why Lemmy is cooler than you. But there’s also his skill with the ladies to consider. Despite the fact that his face looks like he scraped it off the bottom of a refrigerator, Lemmy has had sex with somewhere between 1500 and 2000 women over the course of his career. He obviously lost count a long time ago, but even half that number would be impressive. Seriously, look at him. Can you even imagine the kind of game you’d need to compensate for that? And yet, dude’s seen more hatchet wounds than a Civil War surgeon.

And if you’re a drinking man, you might be interested to hear that Lemmy drinks a bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey every day, by himself, and has done so thirty years. I’d say top that, but I don’t want your death on my conscience.

But look, don’t just take my word on how awesome Lemmy is. Dave Grohl worked with him on a Probot album, and had this to say: “We recorded his track in Los Angeles in maybe two takes…until then I’d never met what I’d call a real rock ‘n’ roll hero before. [bad word] Elvis and Keith Richards, Lemmy’s the king of rock ‘n’ roll – he told me he never considered Motorhead a metal band, he was quite adamant. Lemmy’s a living, breathing, drinking and snorting [bad word] legend. No one else comes close.”

There you have it. I think I can rest my case here, but I’ll leave this interview he did with VICE Magazine behind, just because.

About Dave Kiefaber

Dave Kiefaber is a Baltimore-based writer who regularly contributes to Adfreak and the Gettysburg Times. His personal website is at www.beeohdee.blogspot.com.

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