Get Better Results With Women By Holding Back
I often enjoy talking at length about the importance of expressing your interest in women. However, there is also something to be said for holding back a bit and not completely giving away your hand right off the bat.
You may have heard that “women like a challenge” and there is some truth to this. The reason that being a challenge works is because of the basic psychological principal of scarcity: When we’re unsure whether we’re going to be able to get something or not, we start wanting it more.
So, while it’s vitally important to show SOME interest in a woman so that she knows you aren’t gay or a total wimp, it’s also best to hold back a bit in order to amp up her desire for you.
Here are 3 ways to do this:
Women get an ego boast when a cool guy checks them out, but it’s easy to over do it and you don’t want to be a creeper… If you start staring at her like she’s food you’ll seem like a dude who has never seen a female in real life before, and that’s not going to help you!
Instead, don’t acknowledge her right away. Just relax, hang out and do what you were doing before you noticed her. This will cause a “pattern interrupt” for her because the last ten thousand guys who saw her did one of two things. They either: A) Stared at her enthralled by her beauty (like we just talked about) or B) They turned into “nervous eyes guy”… (He’s the guy who keeps peeking over at her because she is so hot, and then quickly looks away so that he doesn’t get caught…)
You on the other hand can just pretend she’s not even there. It’ll bug the heck out of her, and there is even a decent chance that it will irritate her so much that she will be forced to start a conversation with you so she can see what your deal is. But, assuming that she doesn’t approach you, wait until her eyes are on you, then turn to her give her an interesting facial expression and say the first thing that comes into your mind… she’ll be dying to talk to you.
It seems like these days everybody is saying that you need to “touch girls right away” to establish your sexual intent, and stressing the importance of bridging the touch gap. And I agree to an extent. But it is also wise to hold back on the touching to allow the sexual tension a chance to build up. If you wrap your arm around a girl thirty seconds after you meet her then you are doing a good job of expressing your intent, but you are also making things too easy for her.
From that point she knows that you want her, so she has total control. She can play with you, tease you, and take her time deciding whether or not she wants to hook up with you or not because she knows that she’s got you in the bag.
Instead, give her small touches that let her know that you aren’t afraid of being physical, but keep her guessing as to whether or not she is going to get a chance to sleep with you. What you’ll find is that if you hold back a bit physically and concentrate on the conversation she will actually start touching you.
Guys who haven’t been laid in a while are often in a mad rush to “get it in”… and this can backfire.
Women with self-esteem typically want to be appreciated as more than just a hole for you to pleasure yourself in. So it behooves you to take it slow and give a girl plenty of good foreplay action to get her warmed up and make her feel appreciated. This has many positive benefits. Not only does it make her feel good and help her get warmed up for the main event, but it also shows her that you are a guy who’s experienced with women and who isn’t just on a desperate mission to score.
Taking it slow as you move towards intercourse will take care of issues like “last minute resistance” and “buyers remorse” that can come up if you try to get your sex on before she’s ready.
About Jake Vandenhoff Jake Vandenhoff is a dating coach and author specializing in self-development and online dating. He offers an array of programs to help guys succeed with women naturally, without relying on outdated PUA tactics. His Online Dating Playbook offers step-by-step instructions for meeting girls online, and connecting with them authentically. Visit www.jakevandenhoff.com to claim a free copy of Jake's Online Dating Secrets eCourse.