It was tough riding the T that night, on my way to my first training session in what felt like ages.
The entire ride I kept thinking that I should just turn back and plunge myself into another wasted evening in front of the television or out on the town for a night that I wouldn’t remember in the morning.
Physically and emotionally I was a wreck. Fresh out of my first real relationship of freshman year, my time of studying pick-up as a youth had not prepared me for feeling this, well, depressed. The whole point of learning this stuff was to prevent rejection (wasn’t it?) and, after receiving the proverbial pink slip, I just didn’t know how to deal with it.
My immediate – and most unhealthy – reaction was to party away the pain. Following a lengthy path of poor weekend night decisions coupled with a lack of care for my diet and lifestyle, I had hit rock bottom.
But with a big grappling tournament just a few weeks away, somehow I mustered up the motivation to train that night, which turned out to be one of the most important decisions of my life.
Going into class with a complete lack of motivation, the adrenaline from rolling and learning new moves had somehow snapped me out of apathy. Tapping out my training partners left and right, everything just felt right. Sure, jiu-jitsu gave me a way to expel all the anger and negative emotions I was feeling, but more importantly, I found my passion again.
For the weeks leading into the tournament I was laser focused on taking home the gold. Refusing to let the distractions of college dissuade me from my new found path, my hard work finally paid off as I took first place for the first time in my grappling career.
What I realized, coming out of this tournament, was that it wasn’t getting dumped that had me down; it was my complacency and negative attitude that got me dumped.
During the downward spiral of our relationship, I had grown too accustomed to a lifestyle of coming home to a girl and not having to try anymore. Rather than pursue my passions of martial arts and keep myself in shape, I got lazy and, in all honesty, boring.
By getting too comfortable in the situation, I led myself to believe that I was living the high life, but really I was kidding myself while hindering my own, personal growth. When you get complacent, whether it is in a relationship, in a new job or whatever, your passion gets thrown to the wayside and you become a ticking time-bomb just waiting for disaster to strike.
I had let my biggest passion in life lag behind, causing a drop in personal motivation and a deterioration in my overall attractiveness.
On the flip side, by staying motivated and pursing my goals, I’ve been having the time of my life. By shifting my focus and not staying comfortable with the level I am at, now I am constantly showing my best self. After all that time and learning from the occasional lapse in judgment, I’ve found that the times I’ve been most successful with women and in life are when I am staying true to myself and pursing my life goals.
The worst part about complacency is not losing the interest of others, but losing the respect you have for yourself.
About Matt Juul Matt Juul is loving college life as he pursues a career in journalism and cinema. A freelance writer, his interests and expertise range from personal development and dating to fitness and the martial arts. Currently based out of Boston, Matt spends his free time training in MMA, as he hopes to get in the cage soon!