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10 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Take Online Dating Seriously


Online dating is nothing but a SECONDARY mean of getting a few quick and easy lays. If you’re spending more than an hour a day on such sites something is definitely wrong and it would be a good idea to shut down your computer and go out into the real world to meet some REAL women.

While I agree that internet dating has some good parts and can sometimes yield in some decent hotties, here are 10 reasons why you shouldn’t take it too seriously and why real life dating is a much better option.

1. Think you’re the only one? Think again

If you’re talking to this one girl and you fall under the assumption that you might actually have something special going on there, don’t fool yourself. Many beautiful girls get over 100 chat requests per day and it can be incredibly difficult to create some sort of intimate bond when some many options are on the table.

A surprising amount of girls are using online dating for the exact same purposes men do, to get easy lays. It’s important to understand that you’re not really special when it comes to online dating and that’s why it’s always a good plan to avoid any sort of emotional involvement until things get physical.

2. Why would she trust a random guy on the internet?

You might find yourself chatting relentlessly to one woman only to convince her to go out with you on a real date. Sadly many of these girls never actually meet guys online and you’re only going to waste copious amounts of time chasing after them. It’s also quite difficult to judge which will be a time waster and which will pay off but either way be prepared to spend time chatting well into the late hours of the night…

3. Women always look better in pictures

I think it’s very uncommon for girls to look better in real life than in their online profile pictures, especially if their using online dating sites to meet men. When meeting a girl that you’ve been chatting online, be prepared for her to be “different” than her picture and it would be wise to lower your expectations accordingly.

Avoid girls that only have pictures of their faces, they’re usually fat. Girls that have a lot of make-up in pictures, usually have bad skin (and you will be able to tell in real life), if a girl has broad shoulders and pointy cheekbones then chances are she also has a penis.

You will also be stunned just how many women have pictures of their younger, slimmer days… I consider this a serious insult and if you ever end up meeting someone like this, consider turning your back and going home on the spot.

That's about right ...

Sadly one of the biggest downers of online dating is the fact that you hardly get what you pay for.

4. It’s hard to identify the crazies

The online universe has and will always be a great place for disturbed weirdoes. Even if you think this girl is pretty normal, you could be totally wrong as she still keeps her ex’s head in a jar in the fridge. While it may be harder to spot the crazies online, if their doing any of the following think twice before going on a real date

– She talks about herself in the 3rd person

– Her profile pictures are mostly cats

– Sh3 wRi7eS LyK DiS iN Ev3Ry sentence

– Has Justin Beiber in her profile photos

5. Nothing is real until you actually meet them

You might find yourself having a great connection with a particular girl but in real life she could be a very obnoxious person. You can sometimes find yourself being attracted to the idea of the girl rather than the girl herself so it is best not to over commit until you actually have a real life date.

6. Some girls just want attention

Sadly dating sites are full of cockteasers. The truth is that many of the hot already have boyfriends or their insecure friends created them a profile and all they are interested is having a bunch of guys drooling over them for a massive confidence boost.

These girls actually think lowly of people that use online dating and you can normally spot them quickly by their lack of response towards you and inconsistencies in from conversations.

7. Brace yourself – gay men like you too

If you joined online dating sites expecting to be bombarded by a thousand requests from hot single hot women, think again because despite you setting your profile to STRAIGHT there seems to be a lot of strange homosexual men sending you friend requests.

If you’re committed to your online dating profile then brace yourself against the gay men that are going to contact you along with the occasional cock picture, we’ve all been there.

8. Think you’re unique? Think again

Considering the amount of men that are on dating sites, it’s almost impossible to appear unique. They are all nice, funny, outgoing etc so how can you stand out from the crowd?

You need some clever ways of appearing unique without ending up as weird, creepy or sleazy and when you’re doing this on the internet, it can become very frustrating.

9. MILF’s with extras

A recent study showed that internet dating is the most preferred option for young single mom’s. Having to raise a kid by themselves whilst working a full time job, there’s not much time left for dating so they often prefer to save time by putting down exactly what they prefer on their online dating profiles.

If you like MILF’s, you’re in luck but take care because most of them are on a mission and before you see what’s going on you have another guy’s kids calling you dad and a woman telling you she can’t make her mortgage.

10. Your internet girlfriend might be trying to scam you

Online dating scams are one of the most popular on the internet today and funny enough the majority of scammers seem to be from Nigeria. These people pose on dating sites as attractive men and women in order to lure desperate singles into sending them money.

It’s easy to spot them, if anyone is asking you to send them money before you even met them it’s pretty obvious that something dodgy must be going on. If you have a real connection with a girl but you still suspect she might be a con artist, ask her to cam with you and things should sort themselves out.

One last note, if you find yourself spending large amounts of time on online dating sites, you seriously have a problem and need to go out into the real world to meet some women.

Real world dating is the sort of stuff I discuss on my blog and in the free eBook I give out. If you want to increase your success with women, visit The Player Guide – a place where the dating mindset is thrown out the window in favor of more direct and fruitful methods of meeting and seducing women.

About Alex Matlock

Alex Matlock is an expert in dating and woman psychology. Apart from working on his PHD in Social Psychology and writing for TSBmag he also owns ThePlayerGuide - a place where the "dating" mindset is thrown out the window in favor of more direct (and fruitful) methods of meeting and seducing women.

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  1. Fudgeman

    June 7, 2012 at 6:57 pm

    hmmm….. as an online dating veteran, I disagree with a lot of this.

    #1 you’re not really special? you’re never really special unless you wow the shit out of her. Gone on countless dates where I have distinguished myself and seen that “wow” look in their eye. Ever been looking for just casual, then meet a cute, super cool chick? remember how fast you start thinking possible longer term? same with chicks. it just happened to me again. she wasnt looking and neither was I but she incredible (and so am I :p ). she has kids (blech). but they’re not a diaper stage and are apparently very sweet and cool. so………you will put up with a lot that you may not have wanted when you meet someone that pushes all the right buttons.

    #2 why trust a random guy from the internet? why trust a buzzed guy at a bar when she is buzzed? it happens. you can really impress with what you say. happens all the time. I’ve had women drive to my house from 4 different surrounding states and one flew in to spend the weekend with me. (no, not at the same time – sadly).

    yes, you will waste some time with efforts that go nowhere but hell, you’re sitting on your couch, not spending money for gas, parking, cover charge and drinks. true, I realize that the alternative is not necessarily the typical bar scene but it often is. this is far cheaper. you are connecting with women you NEVER would have had the possibility of meeting on the street.

    #3 I’ve had women look far worse than posted pics and women look much better. I’d say its about a draw, sometimes you’re like “oh crap” and other times you’re like “sweet!!”

    #4 hard to identify crazies. a decent point. but if you have a phone conversation asap, then you can tell pretty quickly. hint: if you’re senses of humor don’t jibe, dont meet her!

    #5 true

    #6 true but so are bars – but you learn to weed them out pretty quick

    #7 yep, who cares. hell, I’m flattered no matter who finds me attractive regardless of sexuality. Lets not forget this though. “Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Friday night” Woody Allen

    #8 probably the most challenging part. agreed.

    #9 easy to weed out with preferences if you arent into milfs. personally, I would rather have an awesome match with a milf than a decent match with a single chick. Just went through that actually – my current chica is a milk – gave up a smokin hot – and I mean smokin hot – 10 year younger girl for the current one. the current one is still attractive but not as much – but has an incredibly personality. and incredibly passionate – the point is, sometimes the milf status doesnt matter.

    #10 if you cant figure this out, you are a knob. also, the good thing is it will likely only happen once.

    online dating has tons of advantages. you can contact women that only fall within your qualifications. I’ve had absolutely horrific blind date with a few beautiful women. yawn-fest (for both parties). she didnt get me and there was nothing to get about her in both situations. yet with online, you already know you have things in common. thats HUGE. Rarely had crappy dates from online dating. even if you arent feeling it physically, you can still have a good time with someone who has the same sense of humor etc.

    you can meet women you could never otherwise be exposed to

    you can read a profile and get a good idea what a woman is about and whats important to her. its like window shopping.

    meeting someone out and about is great, but its worse in some aspects and better in others. I think internet dating should most definitely be a big part of someone’s dating skills and strategy.

    • Alex Matlock

      June 8, 2012 at 8:43 am

      Great comment, thanks for taking the time to give something this detailed.

      I agree with you on the benefits, I actually have a 10 reasons why online dating is still worth considering article and what you mentioned is really what I classed as benefits there.

  2. Neil

    June 8, 2012 at 10:20 pm


    Are you tall? 6ft or over? You have to be to be getting that kind of action. Almost all the women that are looking for guys online list for a guy 5’10 or taller…For shorter guys like myself (5’6) its really hard to get even any one to respond back. I have been doing the online dating thing now for about 5 years now and have maybe been on two dates in total.

    You need to be tall and good looking to do well online. I am positive of that.

    • Alex Matlock

      June 12, 2012 at 6:43 am

      I am 6’1 but I never seen height as an issue.

      What I would suggest is to look for women that are shorter than 5’6. They can’t ALL be expecting to get tall guys. Also, if you think height is such a determinating factor, change your height and see if that has any impact on your replies and dates. If it doesn’t it’s pretty evident that you are doing something wrong. If it does seriously consider changing the website, a place with soo many shallow women isn’t really good for you.

      • Neil

        June 12, 2012 at 7:47 pm


        You are 6’1 and you are saying that height does not matter? That is like a rich guy telling a very poor guy – “Just go buy a new car whats so hard about that?”

        I have tried, yahoo personals when it was around,, Christian even and I am not Jewish. Nothing has worked.

        What did work was when I placed my same profile at 6ft and another at 5’11, they both got good responses and attractive women responded to my emails very favorably. In fact when I put my profile at 6’2, I got three pretty hot women giving me their numbers.

        So riddle me this Alex, what do I do? It is certainly not my basic profile. You tell me.

        • Alex Matlock

          June 14, 2012 at 9:47 am

          What I meant to say was, being 6’1 I obviously never realized that height can be an issue.

          Seeing that you have interest from women based on your looks and probably personality (based on your profile information) go only for SHORTER women.

          If that still doesn’t give results, consider what this article aims to teach that you shouldn’t take online dating seriously so GO OUT in the real world and approach SHORTER women.

          If you have the right mindset she won’t be put off since you’re already as tall as her or taller. Approaching them in real life will give them the chance to actually know you despite the fact that you are short.

          Online dating gives them the opportunity to shut you down without much effort but in real life when you’re there it’s going to be harder for them BUT also harder for you when it happens. If you make a good impression they won’t need to shut you down. Work on your real life seduction skills as it’s pretty evident that online isn’t working.

          • avery

            January 31, 2013 at 7:25 pm

            Not true.

            Short women in NYC often have a higher height requirement than taller women. Think about Eva Longira dating Tony Parker.

            I’m talking only about really hot girls.

            No guy over 6′ has the slightest idea what it’s like to be a guy who’s under 5′ 8″. It’s liek a white guy trying to understand being a black guy.

          • avery

            January 31, 2013 at 7:26 pm


  3. J

    November 4, 2012 at 2:19 am

    You mentioned there are Nigerian scammers, what you didn’t say was that sites themselves often create fake profiles of attractive women to get you to become a paying customer. They even program it so that new free members are sent messages, supposedly from real women, to entice you to into paying.

    Also, I think the guys who have most success on those sites are older (30+), as virtually all sexy young women wouldn’t look for someone online. Young men reading comments like Fudgeman’s should bear that in mind, and are better off approaching women offline, IMO. It’s the natural way!

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