The Biggest Mistake Guys Make With Online Dating

Today I want to talk about the biggest mistake guys make with online dating. This is a mistake that will turn off every decent woman and make it basically impossible for you to get yourself a date on the Internet.

I’m talking about looking desperate. You may not think that you look desperate in your profile, or are coming across as desperate in your e-mails, but if you are like most guys desperation has sneaked its way in there and it’s quietly cock blocking the hell out of you!

Here are a few common ways that guys inadvertently make themselves appear desperate and ruin their chances:

GOOF UP #1) Overselling Yourself In Your Profile

Don't make a mistake

There are several mistakes guys make in their online dating profiles, and trying too hard to look cool is one of the most common. It’s a shame too because usually the guys who are over selling themselves have really put a lot of effort into their profiles, and really do have a lot of good personality traits. But the way they are presenting this information about themselves unfortunately comes across as try hard and needy. Think about it like this, if you have a lot of options in your dating life you are not going to have to work hard to get a date and you don’t have to have this witty little profile. Women don’t necessarily want to date guys with amazing writing skills. They want to meet guys who have the right attitude, act like men, and are going to be able to follow through and make it happen on the date. And this attitude is best expressed subtly.

GOOF UP #2) Pictures Of Desperation

As we’ve discussed many times, your profile pictures are very important for your online dating success. However, If I logged on to right now maybe one in 10 guys would have suitable photographs for attracting women. There are two main ways these guys end up looking desperate in their profile pictures. The first is going overboard in getting some professional pics done. These pictures can come out looking really good but they will also make you look like you are trying way too hard. If you have done male modeling then yeah maybe you could throw pics that you have from that but if you’re an average dude there is no reason to get professional pictures. The other mistake guys make with their profile pictures is that they’ll post up a series of 10 pictures of themselves and they’re alone in every single picture. This isn’t a big deal if you’re only running with two or three photos, but if you get a ton of them it can make you look weird if you’re all alone in every picture. It’s also a good idea, not to have a forlorn look on your face, or a picture of yourself wearing a wife beater trying to look tough in the mirror.

GOOF UP #3) Sending Strange E-mails

Often times, guys get so eager to hook up with a girl they see online that they totally overthink the e-mails that they send to her. I get a lot of guys sending me e-mail exchanges to critique and my reply is often “is that something you would say to a girl in real life, if she was standing right in front of you?” This is the question that you want to ask yourself. Unfortunately, a lot of men have been indoctrinated into believing that they need to talk to women in a very calculated and complex way in order to create attraction. When really all they have to do is act normal and show the woman that they have a positive masculine attitude. That’s all it takes.

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About Jake Vandenhoff Jake Vandenhoff is a dating coach and author specializing in self-development and online dating. He offers an array of programs to help guys succeed with women naturally, without relying on outdated PUA tactics. His Online Dating Playbook offers step-by-step instructions for meeting girls online, and connecting with them authentically. Visit to claim a free copy of Jake's Online Dating Secrets eCourse.

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