The Player’s Guide To Texting and Getting Her On The Phone
I get loads of emails from other dudes asking me about text game and all that sort of stuff. I agree that texting is a vital part in our society today but it should never be a central way of communicating with women. If you’ve read my other articles or have read any sort of material online from experienced pick-up artists you’ll see that nobody says texting is the way to go. On the contrary you’ll learn that phoning a girl is actually much more efficient if you want to set up a date and establish some sort of connection.
I agree there are some situations in which texting is a must and I’ll cover that in this article but I want to stress the fact that these are remote scenarios that can be avoided with practice or they are unusual situations that are beyond your control. Also, if you’re still in high-school, texting plays a more important role in the seduction process in which case refer to more adequate material.
It’s true that calling a chick on the phone can be stressful, which is probably the main reason why most dudes out there text but, it is in reality, just an EXCUSE to be a wuss and not man up and do the proper manly thing. I’ve read comparisons saying that talking to a woman you’ve barely met on the phone can create similar anxiety like approaching her at a club. Most dudes fear rejection or the fact that she might not remember who you are, or think that the conversation might be awkward or even fear the fact that they might have nothing to say.
When you look at it from this perspective, it may seem that texting is indeed the way to go, some might even justify it by saying “all chicks text these days, are used to BBM or just talk on facebook” or “I don’t want to sound nervous on the phone” or “Texting is much better cuz I can come up with a proper response”…
The hard truth is that every weak dude on this planet thinks and does the above. To make matters even worse, the chicks know it too! The moment they see a dude texting her instead of calling she knows he chose the “safe” way of talking to her, because he didn’t have the cohones to man up and ask her on a date and guess what? Dude gets dumped in the same old basket with all the other weak males on this planet.
The other big fear men have when it comes to calling up a woman, which actually makes sense when you look at it, revolves around when to call her and what to do if she doesn’t pick up. Most guys think that if she doesn’t call you back after you’ve called her and you have to call her again, it will seem really needy and you can lose the chick. Or the alternative happens when she calls you back but you miss the call and then you’re stuck in a cat and mouse game that will eventually have you lose the girl. Many experienced pick-up artists refer to that as the phone tag game and we’re also going to cover how to avoid such things in the article.
Back in the day, when cell phones came out, they had a neat little feature that home phones didn’t – SMS capability. SMS stands for Short Message Service and that’s exactly what YOU should use texts for, to send short messages to the chick. You can’t expect to build a massive connection through texts, nor can you expect her to properly remember who you are. Instead, if you call a chick she can immediately hear the voice that made her give out her number in the first place. Now, I’m 25 years old and in no way old fashioned, but texting should be for short messages only.
A fantastic use of a text would be a few minutes after she gave you her number – this is a prime opportunity to give her your number (thus giving her no reason to NOT answer when you call) plus you can also make some humorous remarks that will help her remember you better. Also, sending her short texts to keep her thinking about you is another good use of a text and so is texting to finalize details before your next meeting (such as location details etc). Basically you should use texts for short messages and phone calls for building a connection and making plans.
Having said all this, it’s time to take a look at those scenarios that make texting a necessity. These are in no way ideal situations and can be often avoided with proper game however there comes a time when if you don’t text her you’ll risk falling into that cat and mouse phone game that will eventually have you lose the chick.
There are scenarios in which a dude calls, she doesn’t pick up and he automatically texts her. This is a prime example of an insecure male. There are hundreds of reasons why a chick doesn’t pick up the phone: she is at work, is out with friends, doesn’t hear it etc. She might even be screening her phone for unknown numbers and if you didn’t send that initial text with your number she won’t have the slightest clue who you are. Regardless of the scenario you should never assume anything and never send a text to explain yourself.
It’s best to leave a short message (Hi it’s NAME, you can call me back) and then WAIT for her to call you back. Wait a day or two and if she doesn’t call back send her a text followed by a phone call at a totally different time than before. If she calls you back, great, you’re in but if she texts you instead then you have to change your game to a texting mentality.
It’s still much better to get her on the phone in order to set up a meeting or to build a stronger connection. Send a few texts here and there and then try to bait her into calling you.
“OMG i have to tell you something really great about [invention], but it’s too long to text/but text will not do it justice/but texting it won’t make it work”
“I’m the type of phone call person, texting is really impersonal, don’t you think?”
If she doesn’t go for it you can take it up a notch by saying “Are you free for a quick call? Or are you one of those people who only text for conversation?”
There will always be that small percentage of chicks that ALLWAYS text. You can quickly see this if this is the case after the first few calls, when she texts you back with some sort of excuse as to why she can’t talk on the phone. Don’t worry to much about it, just text her and say stuff like “it’s ok but I like talking on the phone more because text are soo impersonal…” or better yet turn it into something productive by saying “Don’t worry, it’s cool, I just like phone calls because they feel more personal, anyway this just gives me more reasons to see you in person doesn’t it?” or say something like “It’s cool, but phone calls are better, how else am I going to know it’s you and not some 57 year old dude pretending to be you?”
Some chicks will never give any explanations and excuses and will never answer your calls but then text you back. If that’s the case, take it as it is and give up calling this one as it’s not going to take you anywhere.
Another dreaded scenario is when you call up a chick and she doesn’t pick up but calls you back later only for you to not be there when she does. Then it goes on and on with you calling her, then she calling you etc. This is sometimes referred to as the phone tag game and it’s a dreadful thing. She’s only going to call you a couple of times after which she will give up all together.
This is another good time when texting is actually useful. Style had a good method of dealing with this which involves sending her a funny text about phone tag and asking her when she’ll be around to actually pick up the phone.
Here are some examples:
“Phone tag! You’re it! When are you around to talk?”
“Clearly we both need secretaries to handle all these calls. Have your people let my people know when you’re free to chat”
What’s important to remember is that although calling on the phone is a much better idea than texting, you still need to be able to work both angles regarding your phone game. Every girl is different and has very distinct phone habits, you need to quickly adjust and see exactly what works and what doesn’t if you want a chance at getting somewhere with the chick. There’s girls that will never answer the phone but call you back after, others won’t even call you back unless you text them something…so it’s just a matter of finding out what her phone habits are and working with them.
Finally, remember that texting should only be a distant alternative for those chicks that just don’t dig phone calls. Never use texting to build a connection, conversations, or invitations. Real men make phone calls and that is what, in this day and age, shows a chick that you’ve got balls plus, it helps get your true personality out there and it makes saying no to an invitation that much harder.
This is the sort of stuff I discuss on my blog and in the free eBook I give out. If you want to increase your success with women visit The Players Guide – a place where the dating mindset is thrown out the window in favor of more direct and fruitful methods of meeting and seducing women.
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About Alex Matlock Alex Matlock is an expert in dating and woman psychology. Apart from working on his PHD in Social Psychology and writing for TSBmag he also owns ThePlayerGuide - a place where the "dating" mindset is thrown out the window in favor of more direct (and fruitful) methods of meeting and seducing women.