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Top Five Movies of Jordana Brewster

Just listen to your imagination as you think about how my voice might sound as I read this to you. I know people like to complain. I like to complain about the people that don’t pick up the dog poop in the grass outside my apartment complex. I think that’s a justified complaint and if it’s one of you, you will awake to realize that you’ll start to pick up your dog poop.

One complaint I don’t find justified is when I hear people belittle rich people for buying fancy cars. “Why do people waste their money on cars?” people might say as I construct this straw man that waves his fist angrily at the sky. You agree with me, but don’t know why. Well, I’m here to tell you why. It’s because it is something we would all do to impress someone like Jordana Brewster. *

* If you’re a girl and reading this, substitute Ryan Gosling after watching “Drive” or really any movie where you see his face.

fast3Is anyone happy with a studio apartment? You shake your head no. Eventually, people make the choice to move into a bigger apartment and then maybe a house. Is the studio apartment still the most economical choice? Sure, it probably costs the least, but has other drawbacks. The more money that we have, the more room we’ll find for our domicile.

Now, imagine you have a million dollars. Yes, you could buy a Ford Focus. Maybe though, for only $8,000 more, you could get a Mini Cooper (or less than 1% of your million dollars.) Then you think, well if I’m going to get a Mini, why not add $30,000 and get a Porsche Boxster. That’s only 6% of your million. You still have 93% left for savings, a down payment on a house, or a really big apartment, or whatever. You were going to spend 3%, why not add another 3% and get what you really want. You nod your head.

Now, you have a car which would fit right in with the cars of the “Fast and Furious” series and you can dream of Jordana sitting beside you as you careen around mountain passes and race along wide open roads. When I snap my fingers and you wake up, you’ll realize this isn’t likely. However, you’ll immediately want to watch the best “Fast and Furious” movies with Jordana.

5. The Fast and the Furious

So, the story begins. Guy is an undercover cop. Guy infiltrates a car-racing group. Guy wants the admiration of a guy who races. Then guy falls for sister of the guy who races. Then, racing, love, betrayal, racing, acceptance, love, racing, racing, I think some more racing and it ends. Such a timeless story.

4. Fast and Furious

This one starts with an undercover FBI agent, then goes to racing, then goes to acceptance, then racing, drugs, racing, love, racing, betrayal, and racing.

3. Fast Five

This one has a drug lord and a federal agent to avoid while racing, racing, heisting, racing, love, racing, drugs, betrayal, acceptance, heisting and racing.

2. Fast and Furious 6

Who do you get to solve a gang of mercenary drivers? Your own team of mercenary drivers who solve the crime by racing, racing, love, racing, heisting, drugs, acceptance, racing, betrayal, racing and racing.

1. Fast and Furious 7

Listen, Fast and Furious 6 opened with $317 million worldwide in its first weekend and that has to guarantee a seventh movie. If there’s anything I’ve learned about movies, it’s to have unreal expectations for the future because you’ll never be disappointed. Don’t shake your head at me. You will agree with me when I say I expect the next “Fast and Furious” to be the best yet. I bet it will go racing, heisting, racing, destroying asteroids, racing, saving the White House, racing, love, betrayal, racing, racing, acceptance, Iron Man, solving global warming and racing.

Now, I’ll snap my fingers, you’ll remember all I’ve read to you out of your imagination, you’ll do as your told and you’ll call me to write the script for “Fast and Furious 7: Fastest and Most Furious” for you.

Agree? Disagree? Which movies would make your Jordana Brewster top five?

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About Rick Mosely Rick is the editor for TSB magazine.

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