How Self-Help Can Help Your Inner Game
From Chicken Soup for the Soul to The 48 Laws of Power to Unlimited Power and The Art of War the titles in the self-help industry go on and on promising salvation and success for the downtrodden under-achiever.
And throughout the positives and the negatives of this industry, the undeniable fact is that it is a massive one. In 2008 alone, Americans spent nearly $11.1 billion on DVDs, CDs, books and seminars that claimed would help make their lives better.
As with any other form of knowledge, it is important to approach self-help materials with an open mind as well as a critical eye. It is easy to slip into the paradigm of victimization and believe that we are to blame for every single trouble and travail in our life when we don’t quite manage to utilize the principles of empowerment outlined in most self-help books.
It is also possible to fall into the train of thought that certain self-help materials promote that the world at large is to blame for our personal problems. These are both dangerous pitfalls to avoid. That said it is also undeniable that there are areas of self-help, when digested and internalized correctly, which can help aspiring PUAs immensely with their inner game and seductive pursuits.
Following are snippets of knowledge from the world of self-help that illustrate how an aspiring PUA can benefit from this base of knowledge.
In his book Mastery, Robert Greene advises developing your social intelligence, and your ability to empathetically put yourself in another person’s shoes and see/understand things from his or her perspective. This empathy is an invaluable tool in any pickup artist’s arsenal and is an integral aspect of strong inner game. By being able to put himself in a woman’s shoes, a pickup artiste is able to connect with her on a much more intimate level and ensure a much more enjoyable and rewarding courtship.
In Mastery, Greene also advocates that we drop all preconceived notions about he world, and utilize the power of our imagination to the fullest. This freedom of thought and positive outlook on the world around you is a powerful aspect of strong inner game.
This is the difference between spiraling downward and thinking that you’re not attractive enough for a woman that just rejected you, as opposed to understanding that she could simply be having a bad day due to a number of reasons you couldn’t possibly know.
In his book Unlimited Power, Tony Robbins teaches that altering your body’s physiology can help change your emotional state. This is an invaluable lesson in inner game for the aspiring pickup artist. There will be times when you’re in field and the night just isn’t going your way. Maybe you were blown out by the first five sets you approached or maybe you haven’t even approached a single set because your approach anxiety is crippling you.
More often than not at this point your body’s physiology will be very withdrawn and unenergetic. In these situations simple changes like straightening your shoulders, letting yourself breathe slower and forcing yourself to smile can actually help you change your emotional state which can in turn help your game.
Robbins also advocates the principle of associating intense pain with old and undesirable behaviors to bring about great change. This for example can help a pickup artist in overcoming approach anxiety. By associating the immensely painful feelings of loneliness and longing with the behavior of not approaching women a pickup artiste can start forcing himself to overcome his approach anxiety and bring about a change in his game.
In his book The Art of War, the ancient Chinese general Sun Tzu teaches that our opportunities multiply as they are seized. This too is an invaluable lesson in inner game. The pickup artist that pushes himself constantly and is ever ready to throw himself into an unfamiliar situation is one that will eventually be able to handle himself in any social situation with poise and style.
Sun Tzu also teaches that the great victories do not necessarily have to be incredibly tough ones. This is also true in pickup and seduction. There are no extra points for making the game of seduction a complicated one. Seducing a woman should be fun for both the pickup artiste and the woman, keeping things simple can help do this.
The self-help industry is a sea of knowledge that a pickup artiste can draw heartily from, but like all seas, it is important to test the waters before plunging in. By remaining critical and trying out the techniques and theories outlined in self-help before believing them, a pickup artiste can go a long way in improving their inner game and their life in general.
Recommended reading for pickup artists:
Unlimited Power – Tony Robbins
The Art of War – Sun Tzu
The Art of Seduction – Robert Greene
Think and Grow Rich – Napoleon Hill
The Selfish Gene – Richard Dawkins
How to Win Friends and Influence People – Dale Carnegie
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen R. Covey
The 48 Laws of Power – Robert Greene
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For Tony’s previous posts about inner game, check out his other articles:
Interview: Tony LaRoche of Radical Inner Game
How to Clinch Your Inner Game
What Can You Do To Improve Your Inner Game
5 Simple Steps That Will Make You a Real Man
Inner Game and the Keys to Confidence
Step Insider Your Inner Game vs. Outer Game
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About Tony Laroche Tony Laroche is an inner game specialist who helps men become more confident around women, get over approach anxiety, and live life with a higher sense of self esteem. He is the creator of the Radical Inner Game program.