Must-Read: Threatened by Your Girlfriend?
No matter how progressive or forward-thinking we may think we all are, there’s a part of us that’s still somewhat bound by inherent social constructions that have been deeply instilled in us. For instance, the one that may be the most challenging to overcome: Men make the money, women stay at home and cook. This is what we’ve been conditioned to think for an extremely long period of time. And one of the problems with that kind of thinking is that sometimes us men can get jealous of women if they are actually the ones bringing home the bacon.
So today we’re heading over to Men’s Health where they have a long and interesting piece all about those of us who feel threatened by the success of our girlfriends and the problems that can cause. For instance, a little sampling of the piece:
In the study, the scientists asked guys to think about times when their significant other failed or succeeded. Men’s self-esteem sunk when they recalled their girlfriend’s triumph, but women weren’t intimidated by their guy’s achievement.
One explanation: Males are more likely to interpret “my partner is successful” as “my partner is more successful than me.” “Men are stereotypically associated with success and competence, particularly in academic and work environments,” says study author Kate Ratliff, Ph.D. That means her victory may seem like a threat to yours—or to the relationship. “There may be a lingering concern that your successful partner won’t think you’re good enough,” she says.
It’s tough when it comes to these kinds of things as far as what one can do with that information. Well, the one thing you don’t want to do is look at that, be all like “well, that’s just the way it is, I guess that I’m never going to be able to change” and then just move along from there. Instead, what you should be doing with this information, is making a mental note of it existing, and then when you find yourself acting like that, turn that mechanism off! You are human, you can change how you look at things.
About Rick Mosely Rick is the editor for TSB magazine.