Must-Read: An App To Help Your Sex Life

Apps can change your life. Think about how you used to find your way from Point A to Point B in your car before you had your trusty maps app sitting there just an arm’s reach away. Think about how you’d have to either pull over and check out that huge atlas that you had hanging out in the backseat of your car, or how you’d have to ask the gas station attendant where you were going and then hope to God that they knew what they were talking about. But now, all you have to do is plug in the address into your phone.

Now, think about how your sex life has improved because of apps. It hasn’t really, we imagine, because for whatever reason, in the wide world of apps, there just aren’t enough devoted to sex. But that changes with an app called Spreadsheets.

Here’s what Men’s Fitness says about the new app that you really need to try:

This app is for guys who want to note their sexual exploitations, keep track of how many thrusts per minute they’re averaging, and measure how long they really last, and how loud she gets. Plus, it also calculates the number of calories burned in the bedroom. All of this information is determined through movement and audio levels via the iPhone’s accelerometer and microphone.

Think the app sounds too strange to give it a try? Make sure to recruit a lady friend, as the app isn’t for solo use. In fact, while you’re taking applications, make sure she’s cool with your using technology in bed. Though do explain that there isn’t a playback component and the company doesn’t keep audio of your sex session (’cause that would be weird).

So check out the app Spreadsheets, download that sucker, charge up that phone, bring it into the bedroom, and get to work boys!