Do Women Like to Be Approached?
The short answer is that “Yes,” women do like to be approached. The reason why is that it’s not a woman’s role to go around approaching men and trying to find herself a date. It has always been the man’s role and despite changes in modern society, which have seen women become more independent and even take on masculine roles in the workforce, women still want men to be men.
Many guys feel as though they are intruding or possibly annoying women by approaching. Yet, the fact is, women wait and hope to meet a guy who is confident enough to approach and then capable of making her feel comfortable and interested when they begin talking. So, by going over and giving her a chance to meet you, you’re actually doing her a favor.
However, if you’re not a confident guy and tend to behave in a nervous, anxious or tense way when you approach women, then you’d be doing women a favor by not approaching. Women are attracted to the strength in men, not the weakness. They aren’t going to be very interested in you if they feel as though you’re afraid to be talking to them. Additionally, a woman doesn’t want to feel personally responsible for making you feel any more nervous or anxious than you already are, so she’ll try to end the interaction as quickly as possible.
You have to work on your confidence first if you want women to enjoy being approached by you. A lot of guys make the mistake of learning a few lines and going out to approach women, without first working on their confidence or “inner game.” Approaching women in this way is bad for you and bad for them. Bad for you because you get rejected (in most cases) and bad for women because they get approached by a guy who makes them feel uncomfortable. It’s always best to work on fixing your inner game issues as much as possible before you go out approaching. That way, you will get more positive responses from women and your confidence will continue to grow.
When you eventually become a really confident guy, you will realize that you’re actually doing a good thing by approaching. Women will be glad to meet you and will naturally open themselves up the situation because it’s rare for a woman to be approached by a good guy who is confident. In most cases, she will get drunk guys, nervous guys or guys who place her on a pedestal and hope to be chosen for being really nice to her. When she gets approached by a confident guy like you, then she’s going to feel lucky to have met you.
Have you ever seen those TV sitcoms, movie scenes or even TV commercials where a guy gets slapped in the face, a drink tipped over his head or ridiculed in front of others just for approaching a woman? Or the times when a guy shows interest in a woman or looks at her cleavage and she reacts negatively and slaps him? The scriptwriters put that stuff in because it’s entertaining for viewers and it’s good for TV ratings. Those scenes in movies and TV sitcoms are not meant to educate you about approaching women, they are designed to entertain you. In all my years approaching women, I’ve never seen a guy get slapped for approaching. Personally speaking, I’ve never been slapped or had any of those negative things happen and I’ve approached 1,000s of women (most of those when coaching clients in bars and clubs). However, I have had many women react as though they are offended that I’m looking at their cleavage, but here’s the thing – it’s just a test.
When a woman notices that I’m looking at her cleavage, smiles and says, “Hey, my eyes are up here!” she is simply copying what she has seen on TV, but secretly she loves the fact that I am sexually attracted to her display. Think about it – if she didn’t want anyone looking at her cleavage, she wouldn’t have it out on display. I always smile and reply with something like, “They look fantastic. I like ’em. I’m trying to look you in the eyes, but…” and then I’ll smile and laugh a little. The woman will then laugh and she’ll love it. However, in a TV sitcom or movie scene, the woman would slap the guy, tip a drink over his head or ridicule him in front of everyone. That has never, ever happened to me and women have always loved that I have the confidence to remain calm and compliment them sexually, without going overboard and becoming sleazy.
For the sake of entertainment on TV or in the movies, you will often see a woman approaching a man and trying to pick him up. She’ll hit on him, kiss him on the cheek, ask for his number or even hand her number to him and say, “Call me” in a seductive voice. In the real world, women know that it’s not their role to approach a guy and then guide him through the flow of a sexual courtship. Women expect to be approached by men and are open to being approached, as long as you do it right.
In fact, women go to great lengths in the hope that you will approach them. They spend vast amounts of time and money making themselves look more beautiful, to hopefully attract a good guy who is confident and has the social skills to chat to her, flirt with her and guide her to sex and a relationship. Women are very competitive when it comes to looking good and they’re always trying to stand out from the crowd, in the hope that they will meet a real man. They don’t want to be approached by nervous, fearful guys who kiss the ground they walk on and hope to be chosen by them. A woman wants to be approached by a guy that she can look up to and respect. A guy who is confident and strong (mentally and emotionally) and who makes her feel like a real woman. This is why you’ll hear women saying, “Where are all the real men?” It’s rare for a woman to meet a guy who isn’t afraid of being rejected by her, is confident in himself, but is not arrogant about it.
A woman’s reaction to an approach is largely based on how the guy makes her feel when he approaches. Here are some mistakes that guys make when approaching women, which turns women off and causes them to either reject him or ask him to leave them alone:
Showing a lack of confidence.
Women are attracted to the strength in men, not the weakness. So, if a guy approaches and shows a lack of confidence, it’s only natural that the woman isn’t going to be very interested in interacting with him. Additionally, believing that women don’t like to be approached (and that he might be bothering her or annoying her by approaching) can make him come across with a cautious, hesitant, nervous and anxious vibe. The woman will pick up on this nervousness and conclude that he either lacks confidence in himself or simply doesn’t his role as a man during a courtship.
Flirting is the easiest way for a man and a woman to express their sexual interest in each other, without actually having to say, “I want to have sex with you. Interested?” It’s a subtle language that is spoken with playful words, innuendos, body language and actions. Even if a conversation is interesting, a woman will eventually lose interest if it doesn’t include any sexual flirting and only remains friendly. After a while, she’ll naturally start to question, “Why is this guy continuing to talk to me? Does he want to be my friend?”
Not behaving in a masculine way.
Women are deeply attracted to guys who think, behave and take action in a masculine way. This doesn’t mean that a guy has to have big muscles, or walk around strutting in cowboy boots after not shaving his face for a few days (unless that is his natural and preferred look), but rather how he behaves around women. A guy who is masculine oozes self confidence and doesn’t allow women to control him, push him around or dominate him in a negative way.
Lacking social intelligence.
A guy can spend years and a small fortune getting a degree from a university, which is excellent proof of his academic intelligence. However, being book smart doesn’t automatically equate to being people smart. A guy who is not comfortable speaking to people or being with groups of people and who can’t relax and engage others in conversation, is lacking in social intelligence. Women are more attracted to men with high levels of social intelligence because, generally speaking, such men are more likely to live a better life, have better friends and be better at relationships.
When I first started approaching women at will, I remember feeling like I’d been set free. No longer was I going to hide in the shadows and hope that a woman would come over to me or ask me out for being a nice guy. I took charge and started approaching women that I found attractive. As my confidence grew, it led to me having sex and relationships with many beautiful women.
So, if you’re worried about approaching women, just know that it will be okay. Women do want to be approached, as long as you do it right. When you do get out there and approach and begin experiencing some positive results, you will kick yourself for not doing it earlier. Approaching women is exciting and it pushes you to become an even stronger guy (mentally and emotionally) than you already are.
Want to learn more from me? I’ve been teaching guys how to be more successful with women since 2005 and have 1,000s of customer success stories posted all over my site. I have a best-selling ebook called The Flow and 10 additional programs about success with women, dating and relationships in the modern world. Go to The Modern Man to discover how I can help you succeed with women.
About dan Bacon Dan Bacon is a dating expert and the founder of The Modern Man, a company which has helped 1,000s of men achieve success with women. He has held seminars, appeared on TV and had catwalk model girlfriends. He's now in a committed relationship with the love of his life.