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Top Five Destinations of Amarillo, Texas

I like unique animals. Penguins are cool because they are birds that can’t fly. Platypuses are cool because they have duckbills and lay eggs and are mammals. Orcas are cool because they are jet black and lily white and smart as all get out. (If you want to watch an amazing documentary, I can’t recommend “Blackfish” enough. My goodness. However, don’t expect a happy ending or anything really positive. I know it is “one-sided” but as person that is not a fan of zoos, except in injury or extreme preservation needs, I don’t know if I care about the other side. We can travel just about anywhere to glimpse animals in the wild and the presence of all kinds of documentaries means we can also see them from the comfort of our own homes in stunning HD.) Armadillos are cool because they look like cute, fast moving mammal tanks.

amarillo3All of this is just a long way to go to say that armadillo looks and sounds a lot like Amarillo if you’re a little drunk. I bet there are armadillos in Amarillo, but to find out for sure, I’ll have to take a trip there, and while I’m there, I may as well take in five of the cool things to do in this city that confuses my drunken brain.

Tour the Jack Sisemore Traveland RV Museum

Every once in a while, I come across a museum and I have no idea what to expect so it sounds awesome to me. The Jack Sisemore Traveland RV Museum fits that bill perfectly. I hang out on the site for a while and I see a picnic table on Astroturf. I see that they have RVs from the 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s. (That means that RVs have been around much longer than Robin Williams, star of “RV.” I hope that movie isn’t played on a continuous loop at the museum.)

Eat a steak at The Big Texan

Yes, you can try to get the free 72-ounce steak at The Big Texan, but do you really want to attempt that? You could be paying $72 to get yourself sick. I’d rather order the Big Texan Strip with sides of fried okra and cowboy beans and hope that I get free entertainment from some yahoo.

Visit the American Quarter Horse Hall of Fame

The American Quarter Horse Hall of Fame and Museum seems like it is pretty straightforward. It’s about Quarter Horses. Now, I just need to find out what a Quarter Horse is. (I’ll Google it myself and if you want to go, I suggest you do the same. You know how to use the internet.)

Eat another steak at the Coyote Bluff Café

If I’m in steak country, I’m going to eat as much steak as I can, my innards be damned. So, I’ll probably visit Coyote Bluff Café because it intrigues me with its prices. Ribeye? Goin’ rate. Import beer? Goin’ rate. I just hope the goin’ rates aren’t as big as the rest of Texas.

Ride the rides at Wonderland Park

One of the many things I know about eating food is that you should never eat a big meal before going on a lot of roller coasters. So, I’ll save a big steak dinner for after I visit Wonderland Amusement Park. There are four roller coasters calling my name.

Any suggestions for things that I missed? Any additional recommendations for the area? Just let me know in the comments.

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About Jason McClain Jason is an aspiring novelist, which means there is a lot of time to put off writing and watch baseball or go fly-fishing, hiking and traveling. By "a lot of time", Jason means "procrastination."

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