Long Distance Relationship Advice: 4 Mistakes to Avoid
Each relationship has its own set of challenges, but when it is a long distance relationship, additional problems can arise and cause the relationship to fall apart a lot quicker. To keep a long distance relationship strong, you must ensure that she remains attracted to you in a sexual way and looks up to you and respects you as a man. If she loses respect for you as a man and begins to lose attraction for you, it will only be a matter of time before she begins falling out of love with you.
If you’re in need of some long distance relationship advice, make sure you avoid the following common mistakes that men make, which cause their woman to lose attraction and respect for them, begin falling out of love and thus lose interest in the relationship altogether.
If you truly care about her, then it’s only natural that you will miss being with her. However, if you’re constantly calling, texting or e-mailing her about how much you dislike being apart and how you feel lost and alone without her, then she will begin to lose attraction and respect for you. Women are sexually attracted to a man’s confidence and emotional strength and are turned off by his insecurities and weaknesses. So, telling her how lost, depressed or lonely you feel without her is never going to make her feel attraction and respect for you.
While the two of you want to be together in person as often as possible and as soon as possible, the circumstances of this relationship are different and you need to accept it. A real man accepts the relationship’s limitations and ensures that his life isn’t only be focused on her. He doesn’t base his emotional security, strength or happiness on her. She is be a part of his life and he wants to be with her in person, but he is happy with or without her. On the other hand, an insecure man stays in constant contact and makes it abundantly clear that she is the center of his universe. Some guys assume that a woman will find that type of “I’m nothing without you” type of devotion endearing and will feel lucky to be his woman. Often, they based that assumption on what they’ve seen in TV sitcoms or in movies where fictional male characters behave like a lost puppy without the woman and they end up living happily ever after. In the real world, weakness isn’t what makes a woman respect, love and feel attraction for a man. She is going to be most impressed if you are confident, happy and forward-moving in life whether she is by your side or not. When she gets that sense about you, she will feel lucky to be your woman and she’ll look up to you and respect you as a man.
Additionally, you don’t ever want to get into the position in a relationship where you are putting in way more effort than her all the time. It’s fine to sometimes to that, but if it is too regular or if it is the basis of your relationship, she will naturally begin to lose respect for you as a man because you’re willing to put up with her lackluster effort, instead of standing up for yourself and expecting better from her. The best long distance relationship advice is to make sure that she puts in just as much effort, if not more, into keeping the relationship together rather than the other way around. When she realizes that you have a life beyond her and are confident on your own, she will know that other women will find you attractive as a result and she will work harder to keep you interested.
Since he can’t be with his woman, an untrusting, jealous man often will cyber-stalk his girlfriend or wife when their relationship becomes long distance. He’ll read all of the comments and posts on her Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, MySpace, Line and any other social media site that he can monitor. He wants to know who she is communicating with, when and why.
By cyber-stalking, he can check where she goes, what she is doing, who she goes out with and so forth. When he talks to her, he’ll question her about every activity, photo and post – especially if any of them involve other men. He may even accuse her of things she hasn’t done or claim she is having affairs with men whom she only perceives as mere “friends” or “followers.” Perhaps, if she dresses up in an attractive way and goes out for a night with her friends, he will only assume the worst. When she posts up photos of the night out, he might suggests that she looks “slutty” or that she was trying to get picked up by other guys.
When a man is jealous and untrusting in that way, a woman will see him as weak and insecure and simply lose attraction for him. On the other hand, a real man understands that a relationship (long distance or not) must be built and maintained on trust, so he won’t question his girlfriend’s loyalty. He knows that she wants the relationship to work just as much as he does (if not more), but he also understands that she might still enjoy feeling good about herself by having other guys look at her or women feel jealous that she looks so good. He’s man enough to feel secure that she won’t risk losing a great man like him by cheating, so she will remain as faithful like he is being. However, if she does cheat, then he won’t be lost without her. He knows that most women he meets wants to be with him because he’s one of those rare men that women refer to as a “real man.”
If you want sound long distance relationship advice, make sure you avoid cyber-stalking, jealousy, and insecure behavior at all costs. You may feel the urge to behave like that, but just know that a woman will never feel attraction or respect for weakness, so you will only be ruining your long-distance relationship by doing it. If you have to go for a walk, watch TV or do something else to get your mind off the jealousy and insecurity, then do it. Whatever it takes, don’t ruin her attraction for you by being jealous, insecure, controlling or by accusing her of cheating or wanting to cheat. Be the real man that she and every other woman yearns to be with. When you are what women refer to as a real man, they simply do not want to cheat on you. It’s the furthest thought from their mind and they are purely interested in continuing to build their life and future with you.
In a long distance relationship, some men believe that they must become like a “hermit” to show their girlfriend or wife how dedicated they are. A guy like this won’t go out with his friends or enjoy his usual recreational activities and may feel as though having a good time without his woman isn’t “fair” or is “disloyal” to her. As long you’re not hooking up with any women, you should feel free to do whatever you want and just live your normal social life, knowing full well that you are completely committed to his girlfriend or wife. It’s fine to talk to other girls, but anything more than a casual joke or flirt is when it comes disloyal and unfair to her.
Hanging out with friends is not “cheating” or disloyal behavior. Most men will “go out with the boys” to play golf, a to watch a football or MMA match, to have coffee, dinner or even drinks when they are in a local relationship with a woman, so it shouldn’t be any different while she is away. If you do hide yourself away from your social life, you run the risk of beginning to feel needy for her. If your happiness and emotional security is based purely on her being right next to you, then you may begin to behave in a needy way, which will only cause her to feel turned off by you and, if your relationship is already in trouble, then she may begin to open herself up to cheating or to finding a new relationship.
These days, most people will send a text, Facebook message or e-mail rather than calling someone and having a long chat on the phone. That’s fine if you’re a busy person, have a lot of friends and simply don’t have the time to be chatting on the phone with everyone. However, if that’s your primary form of communication with your miles-away woman, then you’re making a big mistake. E-mails and texts may get the facts or a message across quickly, but if you want solid long distance relationship advice in terms of keeping in touch with her, make sure that you keep that form of communication to an absolute minimum.
Many men forget that the power of their voice can turn a woman on, make her heart beat faster with excitement and begin to fantasize about sex. Your voice is what she will find sexy, so don’t hide it from her. Think about it: No woman has ever told you how sexy your texts are, right? Many women, including my girlfriend, have told me how sexy my voice is. It wasn’t always that way, but it became sexier to women the more confident and masculine I became.
Women get turned on by hearing their man’s voice whispering sweet nothings, talking in a confident way or showing poise when cracking jokes and teasing her in a playful way. Sure, the occasional, unexpected “sexy text” is something that she’ll enjoy, but if you really want to turn her on when she’s away from you, let her hear your voice. Your voice allows a woman visualize you much more easily and better reminds her of the times you’ve spent together. It evokes feelings and memories of you, the sex you’ve enjoyed and what she can look forward to when you are together again. Those are the things that she’ll use to get herself turned on while masturbating – not re-reading an e-mail or text with a smiley face on it.
If you want to know the best ways to keep a long distance relationship (or any relationship for that matter) together for life, I recommend that you watch my increasingly popular video program called The Modern Relationship. When you watch the program, you’ll discover exactly how to create and maintain the type of relationship dynamic that ensures she never wants to leave you or be with another man.
About dan Bacon Dan Bacon is a dating expert and the founder of The Modern Man, a company which has helped 1,000s of men achieve success with women. He has held seminars, appeared on TV and had catwalk model girlfriends. He's now in a committed relationship with the love of his life.