How to Control a Girl’s Opinion of You
By: Bobby Rio
A few months back Rob Judge and I released a video of the two of us sitting in front of a camera talking about three of the most common mistakes guys make.
The camera was sort of shaky, the lens out of focus, and the lighting was bad.
Which had the effect of making Rob and I look terrible on camera.
My hair had a weird glow. Rob looked like he was wearing braces. Our shirts looked fuzzy and unstylish. My face looked puffy. And the heavy zoom focused in and accentuated all of our “flaws.”
And people let us know.
The video was getting 100s of comments a week and nearly half of them were guys making fun of our appearance, claiming we were gay, or too ugly to be giving dating advice.
Every day Rob and I would Skype each other the harshest comments and laugh about it.
– “the guy on the right looks like he has down syndrome”
– “rob looks like a meth head”
– “these guys are clearly a couple child molesters”
Yea, it wasn’t fun on the ego.
Here’s the thing… the content of that video was really good.
And the guys that could ignore our “distorted” appearance really found the video helpful. (which is why we didn’t take it down)
Unfortunately though, the “lens” that most guys were seeing us through didn’t allow them to digest the content.
Today I want to talk about a really important concept I call “Controlling the Lens.”
The “lens” is the perception other people see you through.
And this is one of the most important, but least talked about aspects of dating advice.
Because the fact is, the results you get with certain techniques is directly related to “lens” you’re being seen through.
This means what is the current perception a girl probably has of you?
– Does she see you as a player?
– Does she see you as a “nice guy”
– Does she see you as shy or socially awkward?
– Has she seen you with other attractive girls?
– Are your friends cool?
– Are you well dressed and seem to take pride in your appearance?
– Do you dress like you’re socially clueless?
I’m going to give you a very simple example, but one that I’ve heard girls talk about MANY TIMES.
If you walk up to a girl at a bar and you’re wearing a pair of dress shoes with white socks… she will immediately perceive you as socially clueless.
Something as simple as wearing “white socks” with dress shoes completely changes the lens you’re being seen through.
Here’s another simple example:
If a girl is scanning your online dating profile and in all the pictures you’re with attractive people doing fun things she is going to perceive that you’re a cool, fun, social guy.
You can take the same guy and show him through a different lens and a girl’s opinion of him will be completely different.
This is why it’s important to do what I refer to as “control the lens.”
This means that you determine the most favorable lens she could see you through.
How do you do this?
I go deep into this in my $9 Player’s Paradigm program, but here are a few examples.
Fashion has never been a strong point of mine. So what I would always do is find a guy I know who gets laid a lot and model his style. Simple fix.
It shocks me how often guys dress like their grandmother picked out their clothes… yet they expect to take home some hot stylish chick.
One of the great hidden benefits of “flirting” and “teasing” girls is that when you do it right… they automatically ASSUME you get girls.
On the other hand, when you have boring, logical, dry conversations with a girl she’ll quickly assume you’re not too experienced. (Need help with this? Get THIS)
Back in college I had this friend Doug who was always juggling three or four hot girls he was banging. When Doug met a new girl do you think he ever came across as “needy?” Too available? Or “try hard”?
Yet for some reason a lot of guys have no concept of how to “play it cool” with a girl in the beginning.
These are just a few examples of controlling the lens that a girl is seeing you through.
Other ways you can do this:
– Your Facebook profile
– Your guy friends
– Your body language
– Your job
– Your grooming
– Your shoes
– Your female friends
– Your car
– Your conversation topics
– Your interests/hobbies
These are all things that affect the lens through which a girl sees you.
You should be making an effort to give yourself every advantage that you can.
When you begin to understand that sometimes changing a girl’s opinion of you is simply a matter of changing the “lens” she sees you through… an entirely new world opens up for you.
This is one of the 7 “shifts” I teach here.