3 Ways to Dramatically Increase Success with Women
I’m on the phone doing a screening for a coaching client, and out comes the 9 words that tell me three major areas of concern for the guy on the other end:
“I can’t find any hot girls in my town.”
And they think that I’m amazing for having found hot girls in Edmonton, which has over 1 million people in it. One guy in particular was phoning me from Calgary which has an equal population, and if you’re at unfamiliar with Canadian women, they’re fucking gorgeous.
It happens all the time – I push a guy into more blondes in one hour than he’s seen his entire life, and with each one comes the next dreaded 3 words…
“Nah, she’s (insert self-sabotaging criticism).”
Why are these guys struggling? Why does it seem as though evolution over the last 100,000 years of knowing how to take a woman off into your cave and have your way with her has suddenly stopped short with a generational endemic full of Nice Guy’s? It comes down to 3 simple solutions to such a vast and understated problem.
This alone is going to change your whole life. And most importantly, here’s why…
First and foremost, your brain has absolutely no idea that you’re watching porn. And I know what you’re thinking, “Kevin, of course, I know that I’m watching porn.” To which, I agree…YOU know that you’re watching porn, but the part of your nervous system that handles mating and procreation has no idea, which is why you’re able to get aroused by watching it. If your brain really knew that it was just a screen and not real women, then you couldn’t possibly get aroused. In fact, the brain has no idea that it’s looking at a picture, a painting, or a movie, at all. It thinks it’s real, which is why everything from pictures to movies have an emotional effect on us.
The second component to watching porn is that, with each hour of porn watched, you’re actually training your brain to see both women and sex the way they exist in porn. Through extensive neurological studies that have developed what we now understand as the plasticity of the brain, we’ve also learned that the part of the brain that is responsible for learning does so by watching other people. Using what are called “mirror neurons” we essentially tape-record what we see other people doing so we can emulate their steps for ourselves. Meaning that with each hour you watch porn, you are actually teaching yourself how to have sex the way they do on the screen. After about 10,000 hours of porn, you’re a master at it.
Good news? Not really. Not only do most women not want to have sex the way they do in porn, a lot of the women in porn are Photoshopped to gloss over any imperfections they may have, which is why these guys are having a hard time finding hot girls. They’ve watched so much porn, that they don’t get turned on by real women anymore. And if they did get a real woman, they wouldn’t know how to please her, because their learned reference point is 20 minutes of jackhammer anal. Not exactly what most women are looking for with men.
Sad? Very sad. Stop watching porn. Start fucking women.
This is usually where guys start freaking out. As if having sex with women was against our nature. Sitting in a dorm room jerking off to porn, however, is against our nature. So much against our nature, that jerking off actually has a negative effect on our self-esteem, which also explains why many guys lack tremendous confidence in themselves. One of the traits that women find irresistible in men is confidence, so just by virtue of not jerking off you’re more confident. Also, because the very reason your balls fill up is to impregnate a woman, you’ll magically start communicating in all the right ways with them in order to facilitate the very reason you’re here.
Instead of being worried about how you’re going to control your urges without jerking off, just know that women are turned on by your sexual urges. And they would much rather be in bed with you, than to have you off alone selfishly withholding your gift from her.
Make sense? Stop jerking off. Start fucking women.
We’re a social species. In order to survive we need to communicate with others and help out the tribe. Even without direct communication, modern society functions because of the help of everyone. A lack of social interaction will actually cause a person to literally lose their mind. By having stopped watching porn and jerking off, you’ll find that you’ll be occupying your time doing more productive things, getting more things done, and being an all around better person. The idea of, “what do I talk about with her?” won’t even come to mind, because since your day was spent doing things you actually want to talk about, the walls will come down.
And once you’re on top of your social game, being far more productive in your day, you no longer will find yourself chasing after women. They’ll be chasing after you. Self-esteem up, confidence up, testosterone up.
Check out more articles from me at niceguydating.ca.
About Kevin Alexander Kevin Alexander is a no-nonsense dating expert and coach based in Edmonton, Canada. He works mostly with shy, introverted nice guys who are tired of finishing last with women, and are ready to start finishing first with women. He is the founder of Nice Guy Dating, which features products, services, and a blog entailing dating details from his own life and from the lives of others. Find him at http://niceguydating.ca, email at email@example.com, and follow him at @niceguydating.