How To Make Out In Public
Ah, the public make out.
It’s that thing you really want to do in the moment, but also wish you didn’t have to.
Let’s face it, making out in public places is just part of the game. You’re not always going to just meet a girl, get her number and then calmly wait to go home with her or until the next time you meet up again to start getting physical.
Your whole objective while flirting should be to escalate sexual tension, so how does that not just naturally end up in a sexual charged make out when done successfully?
The harsh reality, though, is that making out in public makes you look awful. Unless you’re at a rave, people will stare and they’ll talk, and you’ll probably be more than just a little embarrassed. Or at least you should be.
It’s just not a very dignified or socially acceptable act.
So how do you keep your dignity as a man when you make out in public? What are the rules of make out engagement for the modern gentlemen?
It almost goes without saying that you need to build up the right amount of rapport and sexual tension before going in for the kiss.
However, if you go in too soon, you’re going to seem creepy and aggressive, which will probably not only blow your chances with that girl, but also with any other girls who see you fail.
Alternatively, if you wait too long, you run the risk of falling in to the friend-zone. Have you ever done that weird thing at the end of the night, where you’ve been talking to girl forever, and finally work up the courage, but then go in for the kiss only to hit a brick wall of rejection? Yeah, you waited too long.
Timing sounds tricky, but the good news is that there’s a clear and obvious queue that about 95% of all girls will give you.
That’s it. Chances are that this has happened to you every time before you’ve ever kissed a girl for the first time. It’s her waiting for you to shut the fuck up and make out with her already.
Here’s a true story that happened to me recently.
I met this cute, tattooed, flannel and skinny jean-clad hipster girl at a bar and everything went great. Good rapport, lots of sexual tension, we did the number exchange and when we were leaving, outside of the bar, she gave me the queue I mentioned earlier, and I went in.
Like something out of a PG13 comedy, we got exactly one second in to the kiss before a homeless guy asked us for change.
She declared. And I was inclined to agree, so we called it a night.
Where did I go wrong?
Well your first instinct might be to say that my timing was bad (or at least, unfortunate), having a homeless guy ask us for change at that exact moment, but my real flaw was in choice of location.
Downtown Vancouver is literally full of homeless people and I should have known that outside a bar, late at night in that neighborhood, was not a good location to go in for a make out.
So what do you look for in a good make out location?
You’ll want somewhere that’s not as public, where you most likely won’t be interrupted, so as to save both of your respective public images.
Most girls won’t want to make out in front of their friends or be “that girl” in a bar, and as a man with decorum and dignity, you should also not want to be “that guy”.
Of course, waiting until you two are somewhere that’s relatively private is best, but if you’re at a bar or club that has patio, then the patio is probably your safest bet.
No dry humping. And no boob or butt squeezing.
Oh and for the love of god, no weird tongue stuff. Don’t ask me to get specific. You know what I mean.
You’re in public and an adult, sir, not in a closet at your first middle-school boy-girl party. Have some self-respect.
Not only should you be embarrassed to be acting this sexually creepy in public, but going a little too over-the-top can really turn some girls off (yes, even the ones who are wild-cats in the bedroom).
If you’re overly groping her, her logic goes like this;
So if you can’t maul her like a tiger what can you do?
Well first, just remember to show some restraint. Not only are women more sexually turned on by build-up and “tease”, but also keeping your composure shows confidence, another attractive, alpha male quality.
Hands on her hips, her lower back, pulling her in, or even the classic hand-on-cheek will not only help you keep your dignity, it’ll drive her crazy in a good way.
At the very, very most, kissing her neck, just below her jawline, should drive her wild without breaking any public thresholds.
And hey, if you’re ending the night, and she’s headed in one direction and you the other, there’s nothing wrong with a quick kiss, or even one on the cheek if all eyes are on you.
It’s still establishing and escalating attraction and even better, you’re creating more anticipation and curiosity on her part. You’re making her want more while creating mystery, and that’s golden.
Essentially, never be afraid to end your night simply and elegantly. Doesn’t exactly sound manly, but not having the desperate need to take a girl home screams confidence, and if you carry that mentality through out the entire night, you’ll just come off as naturally charming and attractive.
About David Maitland David Maitland is a writer living in Vancouver, Canada.