6 Mind Tricks To Enhance Your Inner Game
Inner Game is everything.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a millionaire who spends 3 hours a day at the gym, if you can’t work up the nerve to approach a girl, or keep your composure while you’re talking to her, you’ve got nothing.
And it’s not just about “mastering game” either. Sometimes, you’re just having an off night and you know it.
We’re all human and it happens to the best of us, but how do you avoid an off night and prep your inner game for success?
You never want to overdress and you definitely don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard.
That being said, get into the habit of a “going out ritual”. It’s really not that complicated, in fact, it’s not really any different than your morning ritual.
A good shave, shower, a shot of mouth wash, a small spritz of cologne and some freshly laundered clothes will make you feel and look confident, and if you’ve got that confident mindset nailed down, that’s half the battle won.
Sometimes you might feel like you can power through after a day at work or even partying, but take 30 minutes to get yourself cleaned up when you can and watch your results improve.
–sounds like the most obvious piece advice for doing anything ever. Taking a test, giving a presentation, going to an interview etc.
But it really does apply to game.
Especially because game requires a lot of thought; your brain needs to work a lot to approach a girl, because you’re overcoming a stress barrier, and that takes a lot of mental energy.
Think of your brain as a car engine and sleep as gasoline. If you’re low on fuel, you might be able to floor it for a little while, but you’re going to stall out quickly.
This happened to me recently. I had really been burning the candle at both ends all week. Besides just being up late, I had been creative writing all week, which can be a really mentally exhausting process.
Friday night, after getting less than 3 hours of sleep the night before, I went out to the bar with friends, and tried talking to this cute blonde girl, who was playing pinball.
The conversation went something like this.
And then I walked away in a fatigued daze.
Brutal. My mind was working at snail speed and I had nothing after that opening line.
I did manage to get past the opening line with a few other girls that night, but it was absolutely painful to try and hold a conversation, when all I really wanted to do was crash.
Lesson learned; a well-rested mind is a sharp mind.
Everybody wants to be around somebody who’s in a good mood, so find something to be happy about.
Even if you’ve had a rough week, you can’t brood, you can’t pout and you can’t hide in the corner and expect somebody to acknowledge you.
As much as you’d like to think that your life is a PG13 rom-com, where Mila Kunis will see you in the corner and come save you from your life of misery, it isn’t going to happen. You’ve got to get out there and take some chances.
So don’t head into the night on a down note. Focus on a recent accomplishment and hold your head high. Be happy.
Nobody likes a cocky jerk, but you do need to acknowledge that on a physical level, you’re attractive to women.
This mentality will help your confidence, giving you the ability to open up conversations, as well as flirt and know when you’re the one being hit on.
That acknowledgment alone can turn your entire game around.
By no means am I saying don’t drink and game. Hell, a few shots for confidence are usually pretty helpful, but beware getting too drunk .
Besides having the same effect as being too tired (mind working slow, not knowing what to say next), drinking too much leads to emotional grossness, and in some cases, the complete dissolution of game.
Alcohol is a depressant, so it has the ability to erode your confidence and let desperation rear its ugly head.
It also lowers your standards. Not cool. Always swing for the fences.
Speaking of lowering your standards and feelings of desperation, one of, if not the most powerful mindset you can adopt to enhance your game is knowing that you don’t have to go home with a girl that night.
While some guys can make “the hunger” work for them, it’s just simply not advisable to go into the night dying to hook up with a girl.
If and when you strike out with girls over the course of the night, the rejection is going to sting twice as badly, and you’ll start lowering your standards fast.
Desperation comes out of a lack of need fulfillment. Thus, if you believe you need to hook up with a girl that night, desperation is almost inevitable, and there’s nothing less attractive than desperation.
However, if your only mission for the night is to have fun, and you’re prepared to walk out of there with nothing, you’re setting yourself up for success.
First off all, this mindset will make you throw approach anxiety out the window. Who cares if you get shot down if you’re ready to leave with nothing?
Second, it allows you to maintain high standards. Women want to impress and win over a guy with high standards, so instead of metaphorically (at least, I hope metaphorically) humping the legs of the last few girls left a 3 a.m., you’ve got women interested in you.
It’s almost like a Jedi mindset. Only when you let go will they come to you.
(Sorry, I’ve seen the trailer for The Force Awakens like a hundred times now.)
About David Maitland David Maitland is a writer living in Vancouver, Canada.