How To Defeat Your Male Competition
It’s a fucking jungle out there.
At any given bar, club or party, you could literally be competing against dozens of other guys for a girl. There are few other settings where you see mankind so similarly resemble the animal kingdom.
And this is kind of tough as human beings. I mean, we don’t have claws, fangs, horns or antlers to fight with. We don’t have bright feathers to show off and I certainly wouldn’t recommend some kind of interpretive dance.
So if that’s the case, how do you defeat all the inferior beta males for the mate of your choice?
I often preach fashion and grooming as a huge part of game, because it is. Your physical appearance is the very first thing women judge you on.
You don’t have to spend endless hours at the gym or spend thousands of dollars on your wardrobe. But a fresh, mature haircut, groomed facial hair, clothes that let you peacock a bit while still looking like an adult, and carrying a wallet and wearing a watch that Don Draper would be proud of are crucial.
It makes you more noticeable in a positive way.
This is a primal response. The most well groomed man is the healthiest and therefor the best sexual candidate.
One of my favorite short cuts to this is simply adding a suit jacket or sports coat to whatever I’m wearing. Pick your self up a nice neutral grey or blue one, and you’ll be able to throw it over just about any outfit.
Look like the master of your surroundings and your persona will follow.
In any social setting, live and die by this rule:
This doesn’t necessarily mean you have to a wild party king akin to an 80s college comedy. But you have to be there for a good time first and foremost. So joke around, smile, have fun, participate in games, be funny, laugh at other people’s jokes; be somebody who invites others into your life simply by how you conduct yourself.
Oh, and dance. You don’t have to be some crazy erotic, suave Patrick Swazye-like dance machine. In fact don’t be. That’s creepy.
But you know, participate. Tap toes, bob your head, pump your first in the air and jump around when the situation calls for it.
Oh and unless you’ve struggled with alcohol addiction in the past or are planning on getting behind the wheel of a car, drink.
You don’t need to funnel beers and get the drunkest. That’s bad. But drinking is social lubricant, and it’s almost a faux pas to not be drinking when everybody else is. Nurse your drinks if you have to, there’s no shame in that. But being that guy who doesn’t drink on principal, in a setting where everybody else is drinking, comes off as super lame.
Just remember this, if she has the best time of the night with you, she’ll want to stick around.
Smart guys totally get girls. But witty guys get even more.
Being a smart ass is one of the absolute best skills you can develop, because you’ll be able to tease girls. And not just in a way that sounds like lame negging lines that they’ve probably heard a hundred times before by now.
Turn their words on them. Call them out on their awful grammar or silly beliefs. Sincerely criticize. Have counter points. Argue.
Do it all playfully, and know where to draw the line, but try to actually get into some banter and bickering. It increases tension and immediately puts you on her level.
Where it gives you the edge is that it makes all the other guys she talks to seem boring and stupid by comparison. In a word; inferior.
The media tells us that women drool over sculpted abs attatched to frankly, stupid guys. And sure, to a certain extent (at least about the abs) that’s true. But so much of what activates a woman’s attraction to you is psychological.
Ever see Californication? Hank Moody doesn’t turn on endless amounts of women because he looks like an Abercrombie model. He gets women because he’s a sharp wit.
Most girls will take a good smile and a witty comeback over a lifetime spent at the gym.
And the ones who don’t? Well, would you really want to date, or even hook up with a girl who’s only into Ed Hardy t-shirt wearing meat heads? Yeah, didn’t think so.
Seriously, have cool shit to talk about. Travel, funny stories, unique experience and interesting stuff you’re working on.
You don’t want to be a know-it-all or brag. It’ll be obvious and it looks desperate. It will actually have the opposite intended effect; making you look like a beta male dying for some sort of attention.
Also, you don’t need to have some crazy philosophical rant about the greater mysteries of life, astrology or the power of positive thinking, as if you’ve unlocked some higher truth. It makes you come off as really feminine and annoying, and that’s bad.
Order different kinds of drinks, not just the cheapest beer around. I’m not talking about an elaborate margarita or anything, but a neat whiskey on the rocks should do the trick.
I’m also a big fan of the Gin and Tonic (or G&T as it’s commonly known). Why? It doesn’t make your breath smell like beer or dark liquor does. It’s also something most guys wouldn’t ever think to order, but also isn’t girly. It’s got a masculine, but classy quality about it. James Bond-ian, if you will.
The whole goal is to create an air of mystery about yourself. It makes you intriguing and women love wanting to find out things about you. It’s like they want to conquer all those interesting things about you, because if they do, it equals validation for them.
It’s sort of like dating a model. It’s validating for you because it must mean you’re really attractive, having earned their attention and affection.
My brilliant logic is thus:
Mind blown, right?
Seriously though, while “sexy” can certainly consist of everything discussed above, more than anything, you’ve got to be sexual.
So be sure to always establish attraction (something 90% of guys will never do) with a playful, flirtatious compliment or a sexually charged tease. Accusing her of hitting on you is perfect.
Talk about sex with her, joke about crazy fantasies and what-if scenarios.
Don’t be afraid to touch. Be a gentlemen and don’t get aggressive, but gently pull her in by the waist when she tells you something and don’t shy away from touching her arm or leg while telling her something.
(My rule for touching a girl in public is don’t do anything you wouldn’t want your mother to see.)
Beyond just letting her know that you find her sexually attractive, you’re creating mystery, curiosity and build up to sex with you, and that drives women wild.
Women love tension, desire and story. It’s what every one of their romantic novels are basically about. So play to that, create a narrative and make them wonder.
It all sounds a little girly, but it takes balls. It takes courage to do this.
Every bone in your body is screaming at you to not bring up sex, because we think girls haven’t matured since middle school, when they mostly found sex “icky”, and mainstream media doesn’t help this perception.
Women like sex just as much as you do, but they have to want it even more than you do to have it. Keep that in mind and you’ll have an inherent edge over your competition.
About David Maitland David Maitland is a writer living in Vancouver, Canada.