The Perils Of Courting By Text
You got her number and she told you to text her. You sent one and she responded. Now what? If you really like her, you will be tempted to send texts that make you look clever and exciting. But be wary of the perils of courting by text.
The text, as a messaging medium, can be useful in keeping a woman interested until you see her again—for a coffee or a drink or, if you’re lucky, dinner. However, it can also give her an impression of you that is not at all flattering.
We men have a natural tendency to want to show off for a woman we really like. It is instinctive. It’s not something you even have to think about. If you send her text after text filled with suggestions of how good and wonderful and successful you are, she is likely to see you as smug and self-absorbed. This will dampen the mood the next time you meet, providing she doesn’t send you the old ‘something’s come up’ text which is a signal that she’s no longer interested.
You should also remember that jokes, irony, and sarcasm can come off differently in a text that she is probably reading while rushing about than they do when you are speaking to her in a cozy and relaxed atmosphere. Unless you managed to establish a comic rapport with your crush when you first met, resist the temptation to crack jokes or show off your wit.
All that said you need not be dull and mechanical. You should write warm and thoughtful messages that express your genuine pleasure in meeting her. After the first date, take the measure of where you stand. Depending on how close you’ve gotten you may be able to send texts that more freely reflect your personality. If you go on a second and third date, you will of course be able to send more intimate messages.
The bottom line is this: don’t try to win her affections by text. It is likely to be disastrous. Only when you are face-to-face with her, and she can hear your tone and read your body language will you she get the best opportunity to find out what a great guy you are.
About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.