What To Do When Other Women Flirt With You
It can happen to any man. And it is often unexpected. You are at a dinner or a party or some other social scene with your girlfriend and another woman starts flirting with you. Such a situation is likely to put you into extreme internal conflict. On the one hand, the exuberance that comes from being hit on by an attractive woman is irresistible. You will want more of it, and you might even think of reciprocating in order to encourage the person doing the flirting.
However, there is the small matter of your being in a relationship with someone else—someone who happens at that moment to be in the immediate vicinity. Even if you are in love with your girlfriend and wholly committed to the relationship, you will still like the feeling of another woman flirting with you. Indeed, you will like it so much that you will believe yourself in a bit of a pickle as to what you should do.
Sometimes the flirting can be so bold and brazen that it amounts to physical molestation. I was in such a situation recently. I was out to dinner with my partner on New Year’s Eve. One of the waitresses who served us kept standing at our table much longer than she needed to while staring and smiling at me. She would also flash me a smile every time she passed our table. Later in the evening, my partner was up dancing with a friend of hers who had joined us. I needed to tell the same waitress something about the bill. The music was loud, so I signaled her to come closer. What happened next surprised me. She took my head into her arm as if she were about to kiss me. I turned slightly so as to give her only my ear. But she made it a point to press and rub her face up against mine as she whispered her response. She then felt me up—shoulders and chest—when she departed.
Situations like this can tempt you into doing something indiscreet. My response—and I highly recommend it—is to be gracious. Make the best of a woman’s giving you attention by being exceptionally friendly and kind. Smile at her every once and while and make the point of saying goodbye when you leave. Take the thing in stride in other words. You don’t need to be cold or awkward.
You should also avoid reading too much into it. A woman may just want to flirt with you for fun, or because of the general atmosphere of the time or place. Occasions such as New Year’s Eve, for example, are festive and women tend to let down their inhibitions. There is no need to build it up into anything more than a harmless bit of titillation. Don’t go taking a chance on something whimsical when you have the sure thing already.
About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.