How To Defeat The Hunger
The Hunger is that feeling you get when you go out, and feel like you absolutely must take a girl home that night.
Maybe you’ve been in something of a slump or maybe you’re just really feeling it tonight. You’re a hot blooded North American male, so there’s not always going to be an explanation.
But why it’s so awful is because it’s so self-defeating. It breeds desperation in you and so often, just by having the feeling of The Hunger, it all but guarantees that you will be going home empty handed.
To get over The Hunger, you need to get laid. That part is obvious. But how do you stop The Hunger from screwing up your game and accomplishing that goal?
Here’s how to save you from yourself.
The quickest, simplest and easiest solution to avoiding desperation is to limit your alcohol intake.
This will help you maintain your logic and not let it be overridden by your desperation.
People do crazy shit when they’re desperate. Ever see a Saw movie? Getting too drunk combined with The Hunger is the game equivalent of sawing off your foot.
I’m not saying to just crank one out and then leave the house right away. But make sure you’re paid up, so to speak.
Testosterone is kind of like alcohol in that the right amount of it will give you a level of confidence and self-esteem, but too much of it will make you act crazy and desperate.
Now stick with me here because we’re going to get scientific.
There’s a part of your brain called the hypothalamus, which tells your body how much testosterone to produce, based on how much it thinks you need.
When you’re out at a bar, club, party or on a date, your brain sees this as some kind of primal mating ritual and your hypothalamus instinctually will make more testosterone to gear you up for making little version of you.
Meaning, your body has naturally elevated testosterone when it thinks you might get laid. Which is reasonable enough, but it’s that extra kick that can make you really stupid.
Now studies have shown that masturbating doesn’t necessarily lower testosterone levels, but it does reduce your expectation for sex. Which in this case means you won’t be generating more testosterone than you need when you go out, thus reducing The Hunger’s hold on you.
This works even better if you masturbate daily.
The longer you take to get ready, the more you’re building up that expectation for sex.
You’re feeding The Hunger when you put on that one shirt that you only wear when you go out, or your most expensive pair of shoes, even though you’re only going to some dive bar.
Dress for the location and the occasion of course, but don’t feel the need to dress any fancier than you do every day. Putting your best foot forward doesn’t mean looking like you’re trying really hard.
This one can really hit you twofold because your clothes will create an expectation in your mind, but women always know when you look like you’re trying too hard.
So not only are you feeding your own Hunger, you’re giving them reason to immediately judge you as desperate, before you even open your mouth.
I’m not saying don’t enjoy yourself.
Quite the opposite. I’m saying don’t get bummed out when it doesn’t turn out to be the “greatest night ever, of all time!”
Learn to just enjoy yourself and the time you’re spending with friends. Don’t build the idea of the night up in your head as definitely the one that you’re going to get laid on.
Stop thinking “I’m going to get laid tonight, because I have to get laid tonight.”
The mindset of “have to” is the path to desperation.
You’re not in high school anymore and this isn’t Superbad. It doesn’t have to be tonight. The sooner you accept that, the sooner it actually will be tonight.
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About David Maitland David Maitland is a writer living in Vancouver, Canada.