Approaching The Coffee Shop Girl
You can’t help where you meet someone. The cute girl who works at your favorite coffee shop or restaurant or delicatessen gives you the eye regularly and you rather like the looks of her. But chatting her up while she’s at work can be a bit awkward. So, how do you get a date with her without making the situation weird and uncomfortable?
You must first decide whether she’s really into you. Understand that she probably works an 8 or 10 hour shift during which she sees dozens of guys who are probably not too different from yourself. If she is really attractive, it is likely that she gets hit on once or twice a day.
She may welcome such advancements just to amuse herself. Think of how boring it is to make and serve food and beverage all day. You need to figure out if you’re special or if you’re just a distraction from drudgery. Her asking you personal questions or divulging personal information about herself is an indication of the former.
Indeed, such a move represents a crack in the ice of impersonal service or superficial flirtation. It is an opening. And it may even be an invitation for you to push things a little further. Don’t rush it; ease towards it. When things are slow in the shop, strike up a conversation with her. Show her that you’re seriously interested.
Asking her out is the decisive move. In my experience, it is best to invite her out for a meal or drinks after her shift ends. Getting her phone number so that you can arrange a date for later in the week is a bit odd. If you are a regular at the coffee shop, you will see her the next day. And if you leave off going to the coffee shop until you’ve called and made the date, it will seem like you’re avoiding her. Both actions are likely to introduce unnecessary awkwardness and tension between you.
Asking her to do something with you directly after her shift—either that day or someday after—builds a sense of anticipation rather than delay. It is also likely to smooth the way for further intimacy between you. She will enjoy being treated to some fun after a long, tiring shift.
About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.