Use THIS Powerful Mindset To Increase Her Desire
I like to give simple advice when I can.
Sure, keeping a multitude of tips, tricks and plays in your back pocket can certainty come in handy when flirting with girls. But sometimes we just need that pillar to gravitate to; a simple mantra that will always help us make the right moves.
Whether you’re meeting a new girl at the bar, chatting with a Tinder match or out on that first date, always remember;
I actually had this revelation a few weeks back when I was at a Death from Above 1979 concert (I also work as a music journalist). There’s a great lyric in one of their songs, Romantic Rights, which says “I don’t need you, I want you.” I’ve heard the song a million times, but for some reason when hearing it live, it all just clicked for me.
I had known all the pieces to this mantra, but I hadn’t quite put them together so simply
“Need” is bad. We learn that almost immediately when we start getting into ‘game’. Neediness and desperation are the antithesis of attraction. Appearing desperate will surely turn any woman off.
Whether you’re texting too much, checking in too often or exhibiting a lack of confidence, pleading for attention, we know that you’ll never get the girl.
You should think of “need” in terms of that scratchy thing a cat does before it falls asleep on you. Annoying and painful, right? Well that’s how a girl feels when you’re acting needy.
“Want”, on the hand, is very powerful. Want is desire. And desire is the primary tool in sparking attraction in women.
Of course, we want them to desire us. It’s why we’re confident, display value, have social graces, own our surroundings. It’s why we dress and groom well, it’s why we’re witty, funny and strive for success.
But women want to be desired as well. And I think that this is one of the top things that most guys over look and don’t do. That’s why shameless complimenting, establishing attraction with fantasies about dating or getting married and building sexual tension all work. They all show that you want her. And she wants to be wanted.
So you have to express desire for her, without coming off like you need her.
I get that sometimes that can be a tricky line to walk. But here’s the key;
Think of yourself like a train. The literal locomotive kind.
And girls are passengers. Of course, you want them to ride the train. You sell tickets, you advertise, you make your cars as comfortable and appealing as possible. You’re doing everything you can to make sure your passengers know that you want their business.
But whether or not passengers show up, that train is leaving the station, it has a destination and it waits for nobody.
Have a destination in your life. One that does not rest on whether or not you have a passenger.
If your main objective in life is to just get a girlfriend, I can’t imagine any woman actually finding that attractive.
Have your own goals and own ambitions. Any girl worth your time will surely have her own. And in that way, you both act as passengers on each other’s journey.
Don’t cramp her style. Want. Don’t need.
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About David Maitland David Maitland is a writer living in Vancouver, Canada.