Should You Date Your Ex Girlfriend?
Probably not. But, maybe.
One of the reasons guys want to get better at meeting and talking to women is because at some point, they were dumped.
That’s more or less my story. I’m the kind of person that, when defeated, I need to find out why, and then over come it.
Now, if you start getting over your ex, and improving yourself to become more attractive to women, there’s a really solid chance your ex might want you back.
On the surface, this might seem like a good idea. There are a few legitimately good reasons why you might consider dating an ex.
You’ve both grown as people since the break up, you’ve had time to explore other options and you may have realized what you really had in this girl. Ignorance and immaturity can often break up a relationship.
It could be a chance to rectify a mistake and have a real shot at a much more functional relationship. Your friends may (they will) scoff and berate you, but they’ll get over it eventually.
The allure of it all is an opportunity to have all the good parts of your old relationship, with none of the bad ones.
But let’s get real. Getting back with an ex girlfriend is usually a terrible idea. There’s a simple reason why, and you’ve probably heard it a million times.
In fact there are few circumstances where getting back with an ex girlfriend would work, because the trick is to not do the exact same thing again.
If you’re reading this right now in a startled panic, because you’ve been broken up from a serious relationship for a week or two now, and you’re starting to get anxious. Stop. Take a deep breathe and relax. Everything will most certainly be fine.
I’m not going to tell you how to get your ex back, and frankly, I wouldn’t recommend that you try. Your efforts could be focused on so much more exciting things.
Yes, there are more than a few tips, tricks and plays out there to get your ex girlfriend running back to you in a month or two. A quick Google search will yield dozens of results.
However, it’s the last thing you want to do right now. If you get back together with your ex girlfriend now, you’ll be doomed to make the same mistakes over and over again. Because nothing has changed. And even if you’ve change, she hasn’t. You’ll be right back to feeling unsatisfied and probably flat-out miserable.
She hasn’t had the same revelations as you, and at best you’ll be making her comeback out of weakness. And nobody wants to date a weak person. You’ll actually lose respect for her if you start dating again now, and that’s a recipe for a toxic relationship.
What you need is time and space to grow. Improve yourself, become more ambitious, accomplish some goals and create a positive vision for your life.
You don’t need days, weeks or months apart. You need years.
Stop looking at this as a scary thing and start to get excited. Your future is an opportunity, filled with a million possibilities.
Also, why would you be so narrow minded as to believe that there’s only one girl out there for you? Just by merit of the fact that you broke up with your ex girlfriend, isn’t that proof enough that there must be somebody else out there for you?
I don’t care how old you are either, there’s plenty of time to date around. True story; my grandfather is 70-years-old, and he still dates. It’s a fun part of life that you’re frankly missing out on by not participating in. I would equate it to world travel.
Meet new girls and have new experiences with them. And if at some point, your ex girlfriend feels like one of those new girls, then getting back together might be a possibility. But until then, have an adventure.
About David Maitland David Maitland is a writer living in Vancouver, Canada.