THIS Is What Confidence Looks Like
Confidence is the binding agent for not just your success with women, but the mindset you need to conquer any problem in your life.
It’s essential, and so when I write these articles, I talk about its necessity often and at length.
Being confident is such a big part of meeting and being with the women you want, that if you have it, you don’t necessarily need anything else.
Plenty of guys get by on raw confidence alone.
It’s no surprise then that I commonly get asked both online and in person, “how do I become more confident?”
The truth is that confidence is not measured or weighed. It is only seen and felt. Its presence is simply known.
If you’re somebody who just flat out doesn’t have any self-esteem, there are many programs out there to help you develop your confidence.
However, maybe you do have a reasonable amount of confidence, and you just don’t know how to show it.
A lot of guys tend to go overboard when it comes to showcasing their confidence.
They become too cocky and brag shamelessly.
Bragging is an unsolicited boast, used to purposefully inflate yourself.
Nobody asked you for it, and it’s all too clear that you’re only saying it in effort to make yourself look good.
A little bit of bragging is okay, as long as you do it with teaspoon of humility. There is a line between being proud of yourself and your accomplishments, and flat out bragging.
So what’s the problem with bragging? The problem is that this behavior comes off as incredibly forced and insincere, and women see this as desperate behavior. You look needy.
What bragging and acting cocky all the time basically says to a woman is, “Please, please, look at me! I’m desperate!”
You feel the need to validate yourself and seek validation from others because you’re unsure of yourself, your abilities and your worth.
So then, what is the exact opposite of this? What does confidence look like?
If you’re confident, then you are certain.
You’re certain of yourself and the decisions you make. You don’t feel the need to be validated- you know who you are.
This principle carries through to all aspects of your game.
If you’re certain of yourself in a social situation; you feel good about how you look, you’re not second guessing or backtracking on what you just said, you go after the women you know that you’re attracted to, you find yourself able to over come self doubt- and that creates a certain kind of magnetism about you.
It’s equally valid when you’re already dating a girl.
So often you hear girlfriends complain that their boyfriends are indecisive, unsure of what to do with themselves or their lives, and this causes girls to lose attraction for those guys.
Self-doubt and indecision are natural, human emotions to have in your life, especially when it comes to major life decisions.
But women don’t want a guy who can never make up his mind about anything.
On the contrary, women are attracted to men who know themselves, who know what their life goals are and are passionately working towards them. Even when guys are passionate about their hobbies, they show a level of certainty about themselves.
It’s often said that you need to love yourself before you can love anybody else. While I would agree that’s true, I would also submit that you need to know yourself.
Without that integral self-certainty, everything else about your ‘game’ and personality is fake, and ultimately, fragile.
About David Maitland David Maitland is a writer living in Vancouver, Canada.