7 Mistakes Asian Men Make with Women
If you’re an Asian man, there are some things that you may be doing that aren’t helping you in the dating game. The things that I’m going to point out aren’t just the mistakes that only Asian men make, but it’s very common. Being an Asian guy in the dating game can be a positive or a negative thing depending on how you decide to see it and I want you to be successful because you’re a powerful, confident Asian man. Not in spite of it.
I’d like to make your dating life easier by pointing out the negative things that you may not be aware of so that the positive aspects of yourself shines through regardless of what filters and perceptions she might have about you and you race.
Here are the 7 common mistakes Asian men make:
It’s one thing to be mysterious, and it’s another thing to be a statue. The #1 killer of Asian men’s game is what I call the “Asian Poker Face.” Commonly, Asian men have a problem with showing any sort of expression on their face because we’re culturally taught not to be as emotional as others.
When you think you’re being neutral, you’re actually appearing to be sad, angry, or some other negative emotional state. It’s the “least path of resistance” emotional characterization if a woman has never been around enough Asian to be able to tell the difference.
This can be a problem in a number of ways. When you’re telling a story, the emotion gets lost when you don’t show any expressiveness in your face. The best storytellers are able to emote, and in turn, there’s a more positive feeling toward that storyteller. Or when you’re trying to have fun, instead you come off as serious or worst, creepy. When approaching a woman, if you don’t have a smile on your face, you appear to be dangerous or drab instead of charming and smooth.
Remember, beginner’s think what to say. The intermediate think HOW to say it.
In many Asian homes, we’re taught to be respectful to our parents, teachers, law enforcement, or anyone with some level of authority. While that may be a sound way to live, it’s terrible when it comes to building attraction with women if you unconsciously take it to the next level: supplicating and permission seeking instead of confident and assertive.
A woman wants a man who’s going to lead her because women are hard-wired to become sexually attracted to men with leadership-like qualities. When you’re asking for permission constantly (beyond simply seeking her consent and instead into the realm of timidness), you’re demonstrating that you have no power or confidence in your decision making abilities.
Here are some examples of attraction killing statements/questions:
-Mind if I get a kiss?
-Can I hold your hand?
-Would it bother you if we had a chat?
-Please let me go with you.
-Can I get your number?
A vast number of non-Asian women say that an Asian male has never approached them. We’re talking about Asian men in the dating game, but how can Asian men be in the dating game if they aren’t even approaching? Most Asian men look towards their own social circles to find women to date or worst, they want to get a girlfriend and THEN learn how to date. But you have to learn how to date first before you get a quality girlfriend.
There’s no reason to limit yourself to the handful in your social circle. Not to mention, within your social circle, the women have already dated everyone else but you. I’ve seen far too many groups where there are 12 Asian men and 1 Asian woman. That isn’t helping your game at all, it’s killing it. And it’s furthering the #1 stereotype that non-Asian women have of Asian men, which is that Asian guys only date Asian women.
One of the common, tragic things I see in younger Asian men is that their family has taught them to view themselves as human piggy banks: that the only way they can connect and receive love from a woman is if they have money, objects and status. In essence, we’ve been taught that the path to success is through a college education, degree, job, car and house. And then, and only then, are you as an Asian man worthy of receiving affection from a woman.
They aren’t just objectifying women… They’re also dehumanizing themselves as men.
You are more than your job and how much money you make or what you studied.
Asian guys tend to be extremely logical because they’re mostly in occupations, which require them to think so much. Women respond emotionally when attracted to a man, and it’s up to you to make sure they’re in that emotional state. When you’re focusing too much on making a point, discussing boring topics in detail, or lecturing, it puts a woman in a logical state. Women don’t have sex with men when they’re in a logical state; they have sex with men when they’re emotionally charged. If you want to have a debate with a woman on a date, feel free to do so but know that at the end you’re probably going to be left empty handed.
There’s nothing wrong with being a nice guy, but it gets to a point where you end up being a pushover. In the dating game, being too nice means you don’t go for that number or ask for a date. When you’re on that date, you don’t go for the kiss. When reservations for dinner go south, you don’t make plans to go somewhere else. When someone is being rude to your lady, you don’t say anything. Women want to know that the man they’re dating has some assertiveness, some boldness, and overall some power. Nobody expects you to be an action star, but at the very least you should be able to take initiative when it’s called for.
There are all kinds of cues that Asian men miss from beautiful women, and they’re usually none the wiser after it’s said and done. When a woman likes you, she’ll be more open to touching you; she’ll give you strong eye contact, she’ll TELL you she thinks you’re cute, or essentially move her body closer to yours. However, there are many Asian men who encounter these signals, and have no idea that the woman is even interested in them to begin with. This leaves the woman frustrated and sad because she takes the lack of reciprocation as rejection.
Hopefully, you aren’t making any of these 7 mistakes, but if you are or know someone who is, you can now do something about it and you’re one step closer to fulfilling your potential as a successful, powerful and confident Asian man.
To really supercharge your dating results and achieve mastery over your sexual lifestyle download my free digital online course worth $147 USD so you can read, watch, and listen to techniques that have helped over 10,000 Asian men date, sleep and marry beautiful women around the globe.
Be successful because you’re a powerful Asian man, not in spite of it.
JT “The Asian Playboy” Tran
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About JT Tran JT Tran is one of the leading Asian American motivational speakers in the USA and has helped thousands of men around the world tackle their confidence and dating challanges. He has been on national media like ABC, NBC, and Nightline as well as having taught at Harvard, Yale, and UPenn teaching social skills, confidence, dating, and how to fight against racism and stereotypes to uplift, motivate and inspire his fellow Asian brothers and sisters. His ABCs Of Attraction program is the most widely attended dating bootcamp for Asian men in the world.