7 Online Dating Mistakes Men Make
A successful online dating strategy for men depends almost as much on knowing what not to do as it does on knowing what you should do. Here is a list of common complaints/prerequisites women have (as stated on a sample of OkCupid profiles) for the men thinking about messaging them:
1. Make a good first impression
Women look at your profile and form their impressions of you based on your words and your pictures, so you should choose them carefully. Poor grammar and shirtless pictures, in particular, are associated with lower quality men.
2. Suggest first dates in crowded, public places
You can’t be 100 percent sure who’s behind that online dating profile until you see the person in the pictures in real life. That uncertainty is especially risky for women. Suggesting a date in a secluded location will likely arouse her suspicions and she might stop replying to you altogether.
3. Avoid web-speak
Web-speak phrases such as lol, lmao, gtfo and shorthand such as u 2 instead of you too were acceptable when you were in high school, but a grown man who uses those colloquialisms comes off as puerile and unsophisticated.
4. Have ambition
Think of “game” as the frosting, and everything else about your life as the cake.
You can use solid game to pique her interest upon meeting; however, the type of person you are, the kinds of endeavors you pursue and the things you’re passionate about will have a much bigger impact on whether there’s potential for lasting attraction and a meaningful relationship.
5. Be original
If you live in America, you’re constantly exposed to advertising, whether it’s on television, the radio, a billboard or in your social media feeds. At the end of the day, you probably can’t recall most, if any, of what you saw.
But once every so often you see an ad that stands out from the myriad of monotony and compels you to research the product further.
That’s what online dating is like from the perspective of women. You’ll be lucky to ever get replies, much less clicks onto your profile, if you’re sending out variations of the same messages every other guys sends.
6. If she doesn’t respond, don’t keep sending messages
Sometimes you can’t help but become enamored with a woman after scrolling through her profile and looking at her pictures. But if she doesn’t respond and you keep sending messages, she won’t appreciate your persistence nearly as much as she’ll have the urge to Google how to block you (since the blocking button on OkCupid is kind of hard to find).
7. Pull the trigger
You can have all the “game” in the world, but it won’t serve you well unless you’re attempting to get the results you want — for example, asking for her number or leaning in to kiss her — as opposed to standing there trying to impress her with your endless supply of “DHV” stories.
About Jordan Murray Jordan is a journalist who has written extensively about dating and lifestyle for multiple publications.