How Stress Can Affect Your Sex Drive
You know yourself as a man who loves sex. But lately you may have experienced a reduced desire for it. You may feel as though an essential part of who you are as a man has simply slipped away. You may even be struggling to make love to your partner—finding it difficult to carry through with an act of consummation.
Difficulties in the bedroom do not necessarily owe to physiological factors. And you should not get down on yourself by blaming it on the loss of manliness. All such problems are the result of material causes. You should take time to analyze the circumstances of your life; for such a sudden lowering of sex drive can be due to stress.
An abundance of stress in your life can lead to low libido. When you react to stress, your body releases hormones as a way of adjusting to it. These same hormones can interfere with the ones involved in your sexual response. There are different sources of stress, and only by reflecting on the state of your life will you track it down to its roots. Here are a few of the stressors that may be putting a downer on your libido:
You may have gotten a new promotion or perhaps you’re working on an assignment that promises to get you one. Whatever the case, the pressure to perform can bring an unusual amount of stress into your life. In most jobs, especially those in the professions, it is impossible to leave work at the office. You must keep up on emails and text messages; and depending on your level of seniority and responsibility, you may be called to make critical decisions when you’re at home. Though you may have learned to take this as just part of the job, the strain of such a routine takes its toll after a while, and it will affect your desire to make love to your partner.
Worries over money is perhaps the worst kind of stress. This cuts to the heart of your ability to meet your basic material needs. You may have bought a new house recently and taken on a large mortgage. Or, you may have lost a job and are in the difficult process of finding a new one. Concern about credit card bills, mortgage payments, or investment losses can cause sleepless nights. It can also lower your basic appetite for fun, food, and sex. There is a link between the two latter. Indeed, you may notice that your depressed mental state has negatively affected both.
There is a difference between having a family or social life that is active and having one that is over-active. The latter can overwhelm you, to the point that you regularly run from one place to another without a moment of time for yourself. Getting into such a routine is unhealthy for a number of reasons, but for sure it can lower your libido. Running around in such a way makes you dog tired. You simply don’t have the energy for sex at the end of the day. If you are booked every hour of every day, then the strain of meetings, deadlines, and commitments will take their toll on your sex drive.
Finally, there is the stress present in your relationship. You may be going through a difficult time with your partner. It may be hard to see how things will turn out between the two of you. Dealing with this kind of uncertainty with someone you love can be very stressful. The pressure will be especially great if you’ve built a life together and have a home and children. You should not shy away from recognizing that the strain between you may be killing your desire to make love to her.
The first act of coping with stress is recognizing its sources. Although you cannot simply walk away from your job, your bills, and your commitments, you can find ways to reduce the negative impact that these things have on your life and your libido.
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About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.