The Break Up Emergency Guide
So, you just got dumped by your girlfriend. Now what?
Chances are if you’re reading this, you may very well be an emotional wreck.
Maybe you’ve just been held up at home when you’re not walking around work like a zombie. Maybe you’re texting her or checking her social media accounts nonstop.
But before you do anything too drastic, stop, drop and read this guide.
I assure you, neither the world nor your life are ending.
True, you may very well have lost somebody who was, for a time, a big part of your life.
However, it’s important to realize that you are, physically, okay- and you can be mentally okay, if you choose to be.
Everybody is probably telling you a certain amount of time that it will take to get over your ex-girlfriend, but the truth is there is no set amount of time.
And while you don’t have to be over her right this second, just acknowledging that life will go on is a huge step in settling your mental state.
The reasons you might be panicking are because;
Both are completely natural human reactions.
However, it’s important that you keep your head on straight, and stay calm, because the more stress, time and energy you invest in panicking over the breakup, the worse you’re going to feel.
Think of it like quick sand. The more you fight against it, the harder it is to get out.
I mean absolutely none.
Delete her phone number and social media accounts.
You might think it’s drastic, but it’s important to get this girl completely out of your system.
Out of sight, out of mind.
The more tempted you are to contact this girl, the more likely you are to try.
Not only will attempting to contact her make you look weak and desperate (and thus make her want to avoid you even more), but it’s going to impede your recovery process.
Seriously, you need to look at this like you’re trying to kick an addiction that’s been killing you. You can’t have “just one drink.”
***After 3 – 4 weeks of no contact, an ex-girlfriend will almost always try and reach out to see how you’re doing, and what you’re up to. Use discretion here. iI’s fine to dismiss this politely, but always make sure that you’re the one to end the interaction- and do it quickly.
If you’re sincerely not over things (and there’s a solid chance that you won’t be), it’s of course completely acceptable to not respond.
In every which way, explore the idea of making yourself happy, and improving yourself and your life.
Your ex was probably a sizeable portion of your life, and (here’s a gigantic bonus to breaking up) as a result, you now have a lot more time and money on your hands.
Take the time to invest in yourself. Hit the gym, focus on your career, rediscover your hobbies, reconnect with friends.
Take the money and improve your image, get a new haircut, a new wardrobe, travel, do something you’ve always wanted to do, and it for you.
Not only will all this take your mind off the break up itself, but it will also help you realize just how much that old relationship was holding you down.
You’ll start to recognize that your old relationship needed to end. It was getting in the way of you being happy.
Once you’ve taken a sufficient amount of time out for yourself and gotten to a place where you’re truly content, then you can take a little time to figure out exactly why the relationship ended.
It’s important to do this because in order to be successful with women in the future, you have to figure out what went wrong in the past.
You didn’t get dumped for no reason.
Sure, you’ll eventually realize that you were two different people, and that this girl probably wasn’t the one for you, but there are few other things to examine:
These are all incredibly unattractive qualities and over time, they are plenty of a reason for a girl to lose attraction and leave you.
It’s not to say you should go back and try to fix your old relationship. That relationship is dead and buried, and the healthiest thing you can do is move on.
But those who don’t learn from their past are doomed to repeat it.
Start getting excited for what comes next, because it’s going to be amazing.
If you follow these steps you’re going to be a better, happier person.
But the best part about getting over a break up, and it making you a better person, is that it sets you up perfectly for a new, better, healthier, stronger relationship.
Think of it like breaking a bone. It hurts now, but once it heals, you’re ten times stronger.
Up until now you’ve been improving yourself, becoming self-confident, learning from your mistakes and making decisions about what you want, and what you don’t want for your future.
You don’t have to rush into another relationship right away and in fact you shouldn’t.
Enjoy being single for a while. Play the field, date, hook up, have fun.
But whatever the case, look forward to the future- you won’t regret it.
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About David Maitland David Maitland is a writer living in Vancouver, Canada.