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12 Financial Discussions Prior to Moving In with a Girlfriend

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What Alpha Males Must Discuss Before Moving in with a Woman

Although many of the coaches, pickup artists and players who write about dating may have an anti-love, anti-relationship, and/or anti-marriage tone, you’d be best-served to push away the bravado and fluff as the truth of the matter is, you’d be hard-pressed to find any man that is successful with women who hasn’t lived with (or is currently living with) one at a certain point in his life.

According to The Masculine Mind, there should be no reason that a discussion related to your financial soundness causes any type of discomfort or nervousness from either yourself or the woman you will be moving in with. For all intensive purposes, let’s stick with “moving in” for now as the phase we’re focusing on, and not look at the marriage possibility. You will hear conflicting reports from mainstream media as to whether or not it’s healthier to live with someone before or after marriage, as if it’s mutually exclusive. The cold, hard truth (“CHT”) of the matter is, you should ignore whatever you hear from those bozos. No one who is writing those puff pieces knows you or the woman you’re with, any more than they may know if Echinacea will really help your cold or not, as every few months you get a conflicting piece of proof.

There is much you need to know about how to select the right woman to bring into your life, to assess if you’re truly mutually compatible and geared for happiness in the long-term. The sad truth is, most people are very short-sighted when it comes to partner selection, and thus it’s of no surprise that 95%+ of the time the person you meet, you will not spend your last days with. Selecting the right person for lasting love, well, that’s a whole book in of itself. For this article we’re assuming you’ve made a good pick and want to focus on the necessary 12 financial discussions you must have from just the financial compatibility perspective.

12 “Money Talk” Issues That Need to Be Addressed

Without further delay, here they are, and yes, you must have all of them with the person you intend to move in with:

  1. How do each of you look from a monthly profit & loss and balance sheet perspective?
    • Profit & Loss = your monthly income less expenses
    • Balance Sheet = what you own (assets) minus what you owe (liabilities)
  2. What is the breakout of your monthly individual bills?
  3. Are you both more driven by saving and investing, or spending and splurging?
  4. Do each / either of you contribute to retirement accounts, and how much?
  5. How will you split joint bills, i.e. housing?
  6. What is your philosophy on large purchases, i.e. TV’s – will you make joint decisions?
  7. What are you individual and joint expectations on travel frequency, and budget?
  8. How will you handle it if a friend/family member asks for a loan?
  9. How well-equipped are you if one of you loses your job?
  10. Will you both use a joint checking account?
  11. What are your long-term financial goals, and how do you plan on reaching them?
  12. What financial risks do each of you come with (bad credit, etc.)?

Remember, this is all tip of the iceberg stuff, but you must have these discussions prior to moving in. If there’s one thing that relationship ”experts” all agree, it’s that most all relationships break down because of communication, sexual or financial issues. Give yourself a 33% leg up on the rest of the competition and don’t let financial issues come in between you and the woman you want to move in with.

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About Dylan Thrasher Dylan Thrasher is a top-selling author and the toughest, most effective life/relationship coach around. With books targeted jointly towards singles and couples, his extensive work in researching human behavior has helped thousands of men and women better their lives. He has been featured in multiple media outlets including The Boston Globe, Huffington Post, Match.com, MSN, San Francisco Chronicle and more. For more on Dylan, please visit www.DylanThrasher.com.

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