How religion inhibits your sex life
From first through eighth grade, as a kid born into a Catholic family, I sat through C.C.D. classes for one hour every Thursday during the school year. They drilled all the tenets of Christian life into my head:
Follow the ten commandments.
Go to church every week.
Go to confession.
Then, when the time comes, I get to die and go to heaven. My reward after a lifetime of devout worship.
Many other religious faiths in western culture promote the idea of following a certain set of standards in this life with the eventual payoff of achieving salvation in the hereafter. And those beliefs end up permeating into boys’ interpersonal relationships, particularly those with women. Beliefs that entail adhering to a prescribed decorum, with the expectation of cashing in at the end.
Buy her a drink.
Hover around her at social gatherings.
Comment on her Facebook pictures.
[Insert other indirect, passive behaviors men employ that they think will eventually lead to sex or a relationship].
When men don’t end up procuring sex or a relationship, they become frustrated.
But did the various founders of different religions really endorse that deferred gratification philosophy?
Consider, for example, this Jesus quote from the gospels: “If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”
In a dating context, repressing your true intentions is a surefire route to anxiety, frustration and eventual disappointment. But, when you “bring forth what is within you”, you appear confident, decisive and, thus, attractive to women. It’s not as if you’ll never get rejected, but at least you’re not deigning to take part in various ‘friend zone’ behaviors while hoping she’ll eventually toss you some kind of crumb.
You have to attend school before earning a diploma, you have to pay your dues in the office for x amount of years before being named CEO and maybe you believe that you have to abide by certain religious doctrine to enter into a pleasant afterlife.
But you don’t have to be at a woman’s beck and call before anything romantic can happen between the two of you.
I don’t mean to discourage anyone from being Catholic, or following any other religion, but you should carefully evaluate how your beliefs affect other aspects of your life.
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About Jordan Murray Jordan is a journalist who has written extensively about dating and lifestyle for multiple publications.