Who Else Wants a Girlfriend Without Being a Jerk?
“Is it possible for us nice guys to win with women?” I get asked a question like this all the time, and you might even be wondering this yourself right now. The fact is, guys write in and tell me that they’re a nice guy, that they’ll never be anything but a nice guy, and that they refuse to be a jerk or an asshole to get women.
I understand that, I get that, and of course you should refuse to be a jerk or an asshole, but who said you needed to be a jerk or an asshole to get women? Let’s think about this logically for a second…
No woman has ever said that she wants a jerk or an asshole. Period. In fact, it’s yet to have happened.
And last I checked, they cry and complain about jerks, swearing them off each time she ends up with one. She feels terrible, because she’s been duped!
Think about it from her perspective, dude…
He acted like a genuinely nice guy to get her, and then once he had her, he dropped the nice guy act and showed her what he’s really like – a complete and total jerk! And now she’s stuck, because she has all the hope in the world that he’s going to return to being the nice guy he once was in the beginning.
The fact is, women like nice guys, they want a nice guy, and yet nice guys are convinced that women actually want jerks and assholes! I’m sure you can agree now just how stupid it is to think about women in such a disrespectful way.
The real question is to dig deep and write down everything you think she wants in a guy who is a jerk.
For example, things on the list might be things like:
Obviously, make sure that there isn’t any emotional garbage to what you’ve written down. It has to be as free of emotional garbage as possible.
“Women really want a jerk, because they deserve what they ask for.” is just emotional garbage and has no place on the paper. It won’t get you anywhere, just like it hasn’t gotten you anywhere up until now. And if it hasn’t worked yet, why keep doing what isn’t working? Makes no sense, homie. So let’s do this the right way. Writing down something like, “Be more aggressive.” is just the honest truth, and probably something you should work on to be better with women.
Obviously, right? Otherwise you wouldn’t see jerks succeeding with women. So do what’s on the list. And do it a lot.
In fact, do not ever stop doing them, because the key here is to tighten up your game once you get into a relationship, too. Just like jerks and assholes fail once they get into a relationship, nice guys are failing, too. They’re not continuing to play the game, and think that just because they like a girl, that should mean that she should like him for him. Nope. Keep playing that game, dude. You’re already the kind of guy that she wants, all you have to do is to keep playing the game.
If “being more aggressive” or “telling her I’m taking her out, instead of asking her if she wants to go out” was really being a jerk, then it wouldn’t be attractive to women. Make sense? It’s not possible to both be a jerk AND be attractive. The fact is, that if you’re attractive, then you’re doing the right thing.
The big mindset shift is to realise that women are NOT attracted to jerks. They’re attracted to nice guys. The awesome thing about being you, is that since you’re already a nice guy, once you step up your game by learning from your competition, you’ll win. Every time.
Make sense? I know it does, dude.
Feel free to leave a comment below discussing what you see the jerks doing to get girls that you can totally take on and add to your skill set.
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About Kevin Alexander Kevin Alexander is a no-nonsense dating expert and coach based in Edmonton, Canada. He works mostly with shy, introverted nice guys who are tired of finishing last with women, and are ready to start finishing first with women. He is the founder of Nice Guy Dating, which features products, services, and a blog entailing dating details from his own life and from the lives of others. Find him at http://niceguydating.ca, email at firstname.lastname@example.org, and follow him at @niceguydating.