The #1 Reason That You’re Still Single
Call me a hopeless romantic, but I like to think that even in our fast-paced, Tinder-fueled,’hook-up’ generation, what most guys are really looking for is an awesome girlfriend.
Most of the desire to become better at flirting and overall more attractive to women is because really, deep down, you’re looking to land that one perfect girl.
But for some reason, most guys find themselves on a hamster wheel, unable to land their metaphorical soul mate. The problem isn’t necessarily obvious either.
You might be the world’s best groomed, most stylish dresser. You might have a million and one interesting things to say and to talk about, and just as many dollars in your bank account. You might even be really, really good at getting numbers, landing one night stands and burning through first dates like nobody’s business.
But even after all that, “the one” might still allude you. Heck, never mind “the one” and all of that “love at first sight” malarkey, you might not even be able to find “a one”, a girl who you’re interested in exploring the possibility of a relationship with further.
So what’s the trick?
I can almost hear the groans through your computer monitor now, but it’s true.
Because even if you’ve got the looks, and the moves, if you’re constantly on the prowl for Mrs. Right, and that’s all you’re doing, you won’t find her.
It’s not until you embrace your singleness and stop putting so much weight on the idea of trying to land a girlfriend, will things turn around for you.
You need to forget about wanting a girlfriend at all.
Sure, it is a zen-like state of mind, which is impossible to master entirely. You’re human, not a machine. You have all the same wants and desires as the rest of the world.
But the good news is that all you have to do is have fun. Try less. Worry less.
There is something impossibly magnetic about a person who is so damn happy and content with just themselves.
Think about when you accomplish something with ease. Maybe your performed really well at a sport or you absolutely nailed a pitch at work. Maybe there was a time you were being so funny that you had people dying with laughter, or you said something so insightful that it captured the attention of everyone around you.
Now ask yourself, “Did I have to try really hard to do that? Or did it just come to me because I was relaxed?”
It’s called being in “the zone” and it’s at the centre of so much accomplishment which appears effortless.
So learn to let go. You’ll be happier for it and when you least expect it- BAM; awesome girlfriend.
Yes, just like that. I swear.
About David Maitland David Maitland is a writer living in Vancouver, Canada.