3 Dating Tips From Women
1. “Hell, I suppose if you stick around long enough they have to say something nice about you”
Gardner, one of Hollywood’s most famous actors in the mid-twentieth century, was actually talking about her acting career. But this quote can also be applied to the exposure effect, which research defines as the theory that you can become more likable to other people by being in their presences more often.
This theory explains why developing a social circle is the most efficient way to meet women. When you spend time with a group, especially one with a large female contingent, its members will perceive you as more attractive the more you’re around them. And women, according to other research, tend to give precedence to men they are at least acquainted with when looking for anything from a relationship to a casual fling.
2. “Anyone that says looks don’t count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It’s the way humans work”
It’s true, despite some men’s dating advice insisting otherwise, that attractive men and women have an edge in the arena of sex and relationships. Research has confirmed that good-looking men have more short-term sexual relationships, and women favor attractive men when they go out looking to procure a one-night stand, or enter into a casual sex arrangement.
Even if hooking up isn’t your thing, consider that married couples tend to consist of two people of the same level of attractiveness. Punching above your weight isn’t impossible, but the deck is stacked against you from a statistics perspective.
3. “Look, I know you men have it difficult. Women are just about impossible to understand, much less please. In a post-feminist society, you never know exactly what you should be doing. Women are bloody picky, I know we are. It can be scary, too, when women freak out about what appear to be benign issues. And men who do their best to be respectful, female-positive humans, I salute you, I do.
“But please, please just f— me already”
-Female poster, Best of Craigslist
Men have to strike a precarious balance between respecting women and physically escalating (i.e. kissing her or initiating sex) when the time is right. Most men tend to veer toward the side of respecting women at the expense of escalation.
But both of those things can be achieved at the same time. Women generally won’t blame you for trying to escalate as long as you acquiesce if she rebuffs you.
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About Luke Harold Luke Harold is a journalist who has written for publications including the Philadelphia Inquirer and Orange County Register.