How To Hit The ‘Reset Button’ With A Girl
Whether you’re dealing with an ex, a friend with benefits, a girl who’s trapped you in the friend-zone or maybe just a missed opportunity, sometimes you just wish that you could have a do-over.
The problem you’re dealing with is that the girl in question only sees you in one way. An ex or friend-zone “buddy” will mostly likely not see you as an attractive, sexual candidate. A friend with benefits might think you’re great in bed, but not worth being seen in public with.
And the missed opportunity probably doesn’t notice you at all.
How you’re being perceived isn’t by accident. It’s the result of the accumulation of actions you’ve taken that have led to a girl making a judgment call about you.
The good news is that this damage is not always permanent. In so many cases, you can indeed hit the “reset button”.
By that I mean no hanging out, no trying to bump into them, no texting, no talking on the phone, no instant messaging of any kind and no stalking their social media accounts (Facebook, Instagram, whatever).
If you feel too tempted to stay in contact in any way, write down their contact info and hand it off to a friend, who you can trust will only give it back to you once your 30 days are done. Then delete her number from your phone.
Try avoid deleting her off of Facebook or other social media, but if for example it’s an ex who’s crushing your soul with their feed, do what you need to do. Out of site, out of mind.
Why does this work?
Most people begin to feel a fear of loss around three to four weeks of not hearing from somebody. They become worried that they don’t have their attention or interest anymore.
They’ll begin to wonder where you are, what you’re up to and if you’ve moved on.
The most powerful negotiation tactic you can use in any situation is showing that you’re not afraid to walk away.
Think of buying a car. If you know when you’ll walk away from the sales rep if your needs aren’t met, then you hold all the cards.
But moreover, this makes you appear not needy, not desperate and independent.
Especially for an ex or a girl who has friend-zoned you, if you’ve acting incredibly needy and desperate around her, she’s probably lost a ton, if not all attraction for you. This is your chance to flip the script and change her perception of you.
Here’s the real point to this technique, as is the point to all self-confidence and attraction boosters.
IT IS NOT ABOUT GETTING THE GIRL.
Sorry if that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s true.
What it is about is becoming a better, stronger, more intact version of you.
The next 30 days are about you improving yourself for you.
Some techniques to accomplishing that?
Not only will all this take your mind off of the girl in question, but it will make you feel great. It will help you find your inner confidence- the ingredient that’s been missing this whole time.
In a way you need to hit the reset button on yourself. If you don’t feel completely cool, collected and confident, it’s not time to contact her yet.
The point to all of this is, when she does see you after 30 days, you seem like a completely different person. She’s forgotten all of the negative qualities that she used to associate with you and you’ve started exuding completely new and attractive ones.
Just don’t let yourself fall back into your old habits and let history repeat itself.
It’s true, you won’t be an entirely new person after a month or so, and that there are exceptions to every rule. Sometimes there just isn’t a second chance with a girl you’ve blown it with.
But the important part is that you’ll be on the right path to a happier, more confident you.
About David Maitland David Maitland is a writer living in Vancouver, Canada.