Is “Be Yourself” Good Advice?
It’s the biggest cliché and most common piece of advice given when it comes to attraction.
Your buddies, your female friends, even your parents will tell you to, “just be yourself”.
But… should you? I mean, so much of what we talk about here is about irking conventional thinking, and subverting clichés and popular consensus in order to give you real talk about attraction.
Forcefully, however, I have to admit that, “just be yourself” is not inherently bad advice.
There are types.
Types are typically based on your interests and unique personality quirks. It’s fine to let those shine loud and proud because it will attract women who are looking for just the kind of guy who you are.
As much as you can become attractive in general, it’s impossible to be all things to all women.
That’s just marketing 101.
If you open yourself up to women who attracted to the kind of guy you are specifically, not only will you find it’s so much easier to attract the women you want, but you’ll be so much happier because you’ll be so much more compatible with said women.
Women like men with integrity, who seem real and who stand up for themselves and what they believe in.
When you’re being yourself, you won’t find yourself agreeing with a girl just to agree with her, or changing yourself on purpose in an obvious, vein attempt to be appear more attractive.
It’s like an attraction façade, and women can see right through it.
Conversely, bickering and being authentic are huge attraction boosters.
I mentioned the attraction façade above.
Usually, that’s something done out of panic, because you’re worried that you’re not really attractive enough for the women in question.
When you use the attraction façade, this fake personality you’ve constructed for yourself, it’s only a matter of time before a woman will break through it- if she doesn’t see through it immediately.
Faking it all is stressful. You have to remember who to be, what to be, what to say and so on.
Not only does stress make you fuck up a lot, it also makes you look self-conscious and unconfident.
If you’re yourself, you’re relaxed and you’re confident.
HOWEVER, “being yourself” is not the right answer all the time.
Complacency is what causes single guys to go through a dry spell and for guys in a relationship to… well, not be in a relationship anymore.
You stop being ambitious, you stop working out, you stop putting in so much effort in the bedroom, you stop trying to construct fun, exciting dates with her.
And that’s when she gets bored of you.
So “be yourself” while decent advice, really needs an amendment.
What people should tell you, because it’s the most true is;
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About David Maitland David Maitland is a writer living in Vancouver, Canada.