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Have You Met Someone Else While On A Date?

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Have You Met Someone Else While On A Date?

You cannot control where you meet someone. You may have had the best intentions when you asked a girl out on a date and she said yes. However, while on your first or second date you just happened to meet another girl who blew you away—whose body and brains and beauty overpowered your sense of obligation to the girl you were with. Is this a bad thing? Not necessarily. In fairness, if another girl has managed to grab your attention while you’re out on a date it probably says something—not every good—about the date itself.

Nevertheless, it can be difficult to navigate this situation without making things awkward. What you shouldn’t do is what I did some years back when I found myself in such circumstances.

I had been carrying on a mild flirtation with a woman through texts and emails. We had dinner and drinks together and though I really liked her conversation, I was not at all that attracted to her. She invited me to a formal function—a charity dinner as I recall—sponsored by the company she worked for. As I had nothing else to do, I agreed to go. I dressed myself to the nines and was ready to spend the evening displaying all the gallantry, politeness, and affection of a good “plus one.”

The evening started off well. There was the usual pre-dinner socializing, with everyone going around the room chatting with everyone else. I played my part and stood by the side of my date as she entered into conversation with her various colleagues. I am a pretty good conversationalist, but when it starts to turn to shop talk and office gossip I quickly get bored. My date got into that kind of talk with a couple of other girls from her office, so I politely excused myself and went to look at some of the art works that were being sold as part of the charity.

That’s when the night took an unexpected turn. I met a woman with the biggest, bluest eyes and prettiest little bottom I’d ever seen. A beautiful, beaming smile, a slight, firm figure, and a pair of perky, upraised tits—all wrapped in a short black dress and black leather stilettos. She was irresistible; and the attraction between was instant, as we could not stop staring at one another. I eventually broke the silence and we got into the most stimulating conversation. The thing that worsened the situation was that she came to the event with a couple who were friends of hers, so she was unattached.

Eventually, we were all called to our respective tables for dinner. I got through the meal as best as I could, but I was no longer interested in my date. After the usual parade of speeches and other formalities, there was music and dancing. I went—almost sprinting—to the table where my blue-eyed girl sat. We flirted outrageously, touched and groped each other to the point of indecency, and danced the night away. I forgot all about my date; and she, seeing what had happened, soon left.

I cringe when I think back on that night and how badly I mishandled things. But I have, upon reflection, come up with a few ideas about how I could have approached it differently. Two things in particular come to mind. I should have explained my situation to blue eyes. At that point, we were so into each other that my being on a date with another girl would not have ruined anything between us. I should have then arranged to meet her at the end of the night so that we could go out for drinks. (This all took place in Tokyo, Japan, which has a bar and club scene that goes until dawn). I would have then been in a position to entertain my date for a little while longer. I know, from a couple of phone calls between us later that night, that my actions upset my date and humiliated her in front of her colleagues. I wish I had made different choices. I acted on instinct and impulse and didn’t think of the consequences—which will nearly always lead to someone getting hurt.

While it is true that you cannot help where you meet someone, you can act in a way that minimizes cruelty and embarrassment. The circumstances of your situation must of course dictate the specific moves you make. But it’s important to be guided by the spirit of kindness and respect as you do so.

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About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.

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