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How Much Interest Should You Show In A Girl?

It’s always crucial that you express interest in a girl.

If you don’t, she’ll assume you want nothing to do with her, and move on to the next guy who does.

Which is why whether it’s a crush or a girl you’re flirting with in a bar, everybody wants to know how much interest they should show.

It’s is one of the most common questions I get asked.

Except it actually, sounds a lot more like,

“Am I showing too much interest? Not enough? Should I show a little more? Maybe a little less?”

And so on.

Most guys work themselves up in a panic with this line of thinking and tend to drop the ball.

They either get way too eager and don’t present themselves as a challenge, or they never establish attraction and the girl assumes they’re not interested.

I probably just made you panic even more by telling you that, didn’t I?

So how do you stop yourself from either creeping her out or from missing an opportunity with a girl who digs you?

How do you gauge how much interest you should show?

Well, here in lies a myth we need to bust.

Your interest level shouldn’t be on a gauge.

Either you’re interested, or your not.

Think about what it means to be interested in something. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re obsessed with it, and it doesn’t mean that it you want nothing to do with it either.

Suppose you were interested in buying a certain car. You didn’t need it, but you did want it. You were interested.

You wouldn’t walk into a dealership ready to pay more than what they were asking for and more. But you would walk into the dealership and seriously consider buying the car, and you’d walk away if the deal wasn’t right.

Now I can’t stress enough that you shouldn’t think of women as objects. I just use the example of the car to give you an idea of what it means to be interested.

Interest is NOT investment.

You’re entertaining the idea of something. You’d sincerely like to have it, you’re excited to have it… but you’d just as soon leave it.

It’s really more of a mindset than a technique.

“I want. I don’t need.”

If you go in with that attitude, not only will you tend to naturally establish attraction, but your actions will speak with more to confidence and fun, rather than desperation and neediness.

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About David Maitland David Maitland is a writer living in Vancouver, Canada.

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