5 Lies (Most) Women Tell
In dating and relationships, both men and women tell lies. Most are harmless lies meant to smooth communication or avoid conflict. In my experience, men lie for convenience, while women lie for control. Let me explain.
One of the most irritating experiences that you can have as a man is being nagged about doing or not doing this, that, or another thing. Rather than admitting your shortcoming it is much easier to lie. You may do this as a way of putting the issue off until you can actually get it done or as a way of settling the thing all together, so that it won’t be brought up again.
When you meet a woman you’re interested in seeing again, you may exaggerate certain features of your life that make you seem more important or more interesting than you actually are. Doing this is an expedient way to keep her interest so that she’ll go out with you again. You may figure—and this is a reasonable assumption—that once she gets to know you better the little white lie that you told will be forgotten.
Women lie for different reasons. They do it to assert control over their circumstances, their emotions, and you—their man. Here are 5 of the most common lies that (most) women tell:
This lie comes in various forms. She may also say something like: “It’s the situation that angers me” or “I’ll get over it. I just need a little time.” Don’t believe it. If you have had a disagreement and she looks upset, then she is upset—at you. She may try to defuse the tension of the moment by pretending that she is not angry with you. But women have very long memories. Whatever transgression you committed to upset her will not be forgotten. She will bring it up at some future date and use it against you, as proof that you are somehow always in the wrong and she always in the right. This will leave you frustrated and flustered and her in a dominant position in the argument.
She may say this just to make herself feel better. But no matter how many times she swears to you that she is not threatened by the sight of you scanning another pair of legs walking by, it’s just not true. Women check out other women more than men do—especially women who are exceptionally beautiful or scantily clad. They pass judgment and make comparisons. She will be bothered by the fact that you, at least for the moment, prefer the tits, legs, or ass of another woman to hers. You will stare. You cannot help it—none of us can. To avoid trouble do it as discreetly as you can.
Nonsense! She’s not okay with splitting the tab. If you are on a first or second date, you are expected to pay the bill. She may say she’s okay with going dutch just to test you. Or, she may say it because she doesn’t want you to think it’s a proper date. Indeed, this can be one of the tripwires for entering the friend zone. I learned early on how to get around this lie. If she goes to the lady’s just after you’ve finished the meal, ask for the check straightaway and settle the bill. If she doesn’t, then excuse yourself and go to pay the bill yourself rather than waiting for it to be brought to the table. This will put you back in control of the evening.
It may not matter that much at the start of the relationship, but eventually it will. She will want a house and the means to buy good furniture, clothes, and a vibrant social life. None of this is possible if you can’t make ends meet. The old saying that you should not take a wife unless you have a house to put her in has some truth to it. She may be willing to give you the emotional support you need as you work your way up the corporate ladder. Investing the time and energy that a relationship requires means that she needs to believe in you—both for your sake and hers. However, she will eventually expect you to start bringing in the kind of money that will help her fulfill her material desires.
And finally, my favorite: “I’m not looking for a relationship right now.” This is the ultimate line of misdirection. If she takes the trouble of saying it, you can be almost certain that she actually believes the opposite. A woman who really is not looking for a boyfriend or is just not in to you personally will simply blow you off. If she has laughed and flirted and made eyes at you and then spouts this line, it probably means: “You have to earn me”. In other words, it’s a challenge—one that you should take if you really like her.
About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.