How To Fight The Fear Of Rejection
Confidence is the absolute foundation of attraction.
However, even the most confident of guys can be brought to their knees when it comes to the fear of rejection.
It’s the fear of someone disappearing from your life. A fear of loss.
Whether it’s a girl you’re flirting with, seeing or dating, you might start acting irrationally if you’re worried about them slipping away.
Essentially, you’ve convinced yourself that you need them in your life to be happy. So you think that if they might no longer be in your life, you’ll start to panic.
Panic will have you making irrational, hasty decisions. And it can even start affecting the rest of your life. You might find yourself unable to function during your job, or unable to enjoy… well, anything, really.
This is because you’re feeling rejection.
Rejection is brutal.
It triggers a very primal fight or flight response in your brain, which is why you feel like everything in the world is upside down, and it sure as hell won’t be right until you fix the problem head on.
In fact, scientists have even equated the feeling of rejection to being as powerful as a broken bone.
Your brain essentially thinks that you’re in the exact same amount of pain and reacts accordingly.
The bad news? I can’t tell you that you’ll never feel this feeling.
You’re a human being and it’s a completely natural response.
I don’t care if you’re a greeter at Walmart, or a billionaire. If you’re a guy who likes a girl, and she doesn’t like you back, it hurts.
Now of course, you absolutely need to learn to be happy with yourself and find joy in your life. You have to learn to be stable no matter who enters and exits your life.
That’s really the only way anyone will want to stick around you in the first place.
But sometimes that confidence gets shaken and we need some time to recover.
Embrace that time. Rejection can be the thing that sparks and invokes a change. It can and should inspire us to do better.
But to really fight off the fear of loss, always remind yourself of this simple fact.
So much of the fear of loss comes out of putting all your chips in one basket. That’s really why you panic so much. Because you’re putting all your faith into one person, and when they go away, it feels like you’re left with nothing.
Understand that this girl, will only be the last girl if you let her be.
You never know when you’ll turn a corner and meet the next one.
About David Maitland David Maitland is a writer living in Vancouver, Canada.