Is It Okay To Be Friends With Your Ex?
In a word? No.
In two words? Probably not.
It really all depends on what your intentions are.
If you have no interested in ever getting back together with your ex-girlfriend, and you’re completely emotionally stable and over the relationship, then it’s really no harm, no foul, and could be a really healthy, positive and frankly mature thing to do.
But let’s get real. That’s probably not the case.
Your ex wanting to be friends with you is really just her way of cushioning herself after the break-up, so that she’ll feel less bad about leaving you.
She’s trying wean herself off of you until she’s ready to move on to somebody new.
And if you’ve been holding out hope of getting back together throughout your “friendship”, that’s going to be emotionally devastating for you.
Now, if you’re the one who dumped her, you might be doing the same trick, which is pretty shitty. It’s far less cruel to severe things completely than to drag things out.
You don’t have to be a jerk about it, but you shouldn’t agree.
A calm, reply along the lines of, “I’m sorry, but I just don’t see us being friends” is pretty acceptable.
You can explain that you never saw yourself being friends with her and that it’s just not the kind of relationship you want.
After that, you’ve got to keep your distance and have no contact for at least 21 to 30 days if you want to have any hope of salvaging things.
If she does reach out in the mean time, she’ll be doing so with the full knowledge of what that implies.
Just don’t get too over-eager or oppositely, allow yourself to be to act too much like a friend when you do get in contact.
If you’re interested in exploring the possibility of a new relationship, you’ll want to hit that reset button and go back to the start, create attraction and escalate tension like you normally would.
Is Friends With Benefits (FWB) possible? Read this article for advice: https://www.tsbmag.com/2012/01/30/when-your-ex-wants-to-be-friends-with-benefits/
About David Maitland David Maitland is a writer living in Vancouver, Canada.