What She’s Really Thinking After A One Night Stand
Every man knows of the awkwardness that exists after a one night stand—especially if it was fueled by alcohol. All of the wit and charm and momentum of the previous night are gone. Just hours before—in the shadows of the evening and in the exhilaration and haze created by the insuperable number of cocktails and beer you downed—she was the sexiest being on the planet. Her tight skirt, high heels, and burgeoning cleavage promised fleshly delights that were irresistible. She laughed at your jokes, held your hand, and fondled you as much as you fondled her. You turned on the charm, and she graciously received it. You danced, grinded, and made out. She insisted on going to your place for the evening. And once there, you gave yourselves over to the passions you had been building all night.
Now, it’s morning. You open your eyes, and all you see is a strange woman in your bed. But that is merely a first reaction. After a while, as she continues to sleep, you begin to recall that there was something about this girl—something besides the possibility of getting laid that drew you to her. A twinge of panic kicks in when she wakes up and sees you; and for a moment, she experiences her own sense of fear and disorientation.
Perhaps there could be something between you, if you can both just get through the morning. To do so, it is important to have an insight into what she’s thinking.
Her first worry is that you are now looking at her naked and without make-up. This didn’t matter when she was screwing your brains out. But now you get to see everything in the cold light of day. Indeed, if she is a curvy girl or a bit chubby her obsessing over her body may make her reticent to get out of bed. She may also have a natural shyness about being naked in front of strangers. One way to allay these concerns is to have a robe on standby. Be sure to cover up yourself, so that she feels more comfortable.
“Did he think I was bad in bed?” This is another thing she’s worrying about. You were both drunk, so neither of you were at your best. Perhaps you came to fast. Perhaps she was a bit clumsy in giving you head. But in the end, the alcohol and the desire took over and you ended up simply banging against each other—without skill, intensity, or any real attempt to prolong pleasure. Nevertheless, if you want to see her again, you should give her some re-assuring words about her performance. Next time, when you’re both sober, it’ll be better.
You may have forgotten her name, and she yours. This has happened to me a couple of times, and it is a difficult one to get out of gracefully. If you notice that she doesn’t call you by name, it means you’re both in the same boat. Take the lead. Relieve the tension by admitting that you’ve forgotten her name. She will then admit the same and you can have a laugh about it. If she remembers your name but you’ve forgotten hers, you’ve just got to bite the bullet and fess up. She’ll probably forgive you the oversight.
She will wonder whether you intend to make breakfast. This is an individual call. I think making breakfast is a nice and polite thing to do. It takes an incredible amount of courage for a woman to go home with a guy she’s just met. The least you can do is feed her. The only exceptions to this rule are guys who are bad conversationalist. If you are not the kind of man who can talk extemporaneously with a stranger, then you should either call her taxi or offer to give her a ride home; for transportation will be the other thing she’s thinking about.
Her nerves will also be on edge because of concerns about STDs and pregnancy. If you used a condom—and you should definitely use one—then you’re fine. However, she will still worry about it. This is instinctual in women, since they have the most to lose from both.
The last things she’ll be thinking about as she’s heading out the door are: “should I give him a kiss?” and “will he call me?” You should kiss her when she wakes up and be as flirtatious and playful with her as you can while she’s still at your place. If you are into her, then you should go out of your way to make her feel at ease around you. If you have called her a taxi, walk her out to it and kiss her before she gets in.
As for the first phone call, the amount of plotting and scheming and other forms of mental effort wasted on this question is ridiculous. Just call her the next day. It means absolutely nothing other than that you like her and want to see her again. And that’s all she’ll take it to mean.
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About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.