One woman’s reasoning for boycotting dating apps
A 23-year-old Business Insider writer wrote an article about why she has never used dating apps. While she made a few good points, there were a few other criticisms that deserved further analysis.
Here’s my rebuttal to a few of her statements:
1. “When you really get down to it, a lot of dating apps place a large emphasis on looks. Most users don’t take the time to make the extensive bios that you might find on sites such as eHarmony or OkCupid, so you’re making a decision based solely on looks. The first thing my roommate asks me about a match she gets on Tinder is “Do you think he’s hot?” and not “Do you think his bio makes him sound like a nice person?”
Don’t people place a lot of emphasis on looks when they meet each other in person? How many guys and girls are asking their friends about how nice that person across the bar looks? There are plenty of superficial factors that come into play whether you’re meeting someone in person or online.
2. “We’re all familiar with the argument that dating apps are the cause of the hook-up culture that is so pervasive throughout the millennial generation. And while I don’t think that dating apps are completely to blame for the current hook-up culture, I do think they play a big role in it.”
It’s the old causation versus correlation argument. Do dating apps cause more people to cheat, or are cheaters more likely to gravitate toward dating apps to facilitate their cheating?
3. “My opportunities for meeting someone are endless, so I’m really not interested in facilitating the process in what seems to me a very impersonal and unnatural way.”
For much of the mid- to late-twentieth century, meeting people at bars was viewed as impersonal and unnatural. Now it’s a staple of twenty-first century dating. It’s probably only a matter of time before dating apps are likewise engrained into our dating norms.
4. “[A friend’s boyfriend] proceeded to tell me that there’s about a 75% rejection rate when a man approaches a woman at a bar — he failed to mention where he pulled that stat from.”
First, rejection rates online aren’t much better. So the real benefit of dating apps for some guys is that the rejection doesn’t feel as personal when it takes place digitally.
Second, a 75 percent rejection rate approaching women at bars? He could do better.
About Luke Harold Luke Harold is a journalist who has written for publications including the Philadelphia Inquirer and Orange County Register.